Inside the Writer

Hey guys! I hope you all had a lovely week! :)

So I was going through my Documents file on my laptop, and I found my entry for Rose's contest that she held April last year. 'What makes you, you?'
And I thought I'd share it with you guys. :) I've edited it a bit, and cut a few things just to make it a bit better.

I hope you like it. It's a little insight to who I am, deep inside.

What makes me, me? That's a hard one because I am quite unextraordinary. I've been thinking about it a lot and I think I've finally got an answer.

My name is Bethan Downs. I'm 15 years old. I live in the UK with my family and my dog. I love Dr Who, Sherlock, The US Office, Modern Family; Any Marvel films, the Batman trilogy, book-to-movie adaptations, cheesy 90s romcoms (Clueless and 10 Things I Hate About you for the win); The Hunger Games, Legend, The Mortal Instruments, The Infernal Devices, The Lunar Chronicles, Divergent, Harry Potter, Vampire Academy, Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus; Fangirl, We Were Liars, Eleanor & Park, Wonder. My favourite colour is pale blue.

I love reading. Always have. When I was around 2 years old, I used to get my mum to bring home Biff and Chip books from the library. I couldn't read, but I used to sit with her, pretending to read those books. I would point really enthusiastically at the pictures, turn the pages and talk absolute nonsnese, but to me, I was reading. I love that about myself, reading before I could read.

Writing is also a big part of my life. The first proper story I ever wrote was Johnny and the Lost Lamb (imaginative, right?) I wrote it when I was 7 years old, but I'd been writing little paragraphs about fairies since I could write proper sentences. I can't say exactly when I decided I wanted to be a writer - it's just always been a part of me, that goal, that dream that one day, my book will be on a shelf in a bookshop. Writing makes up a huge part of me. Whenever I have a bad day, I come home and I read or I write because either way, I lose myself and end up somewhere far away from the bad things. I used to get terrible nightmares when I was younger and I would wake up crying and shaking. So I would turn on the light and I would read. Writing and reading - they are my escape and they make up a large chunk of who I am.

I'm really interested in Greek Mythology as well. Those stories are just incredible and I find it fascinating because those stories tell the story of people trying to make sense of this wonderful and confusing world. I like drawing and painting as well - I find it really therapeutic. I'm just quite an artsy, creative person, even if I'm not very good at it!

Anyone who doesn't know me thinks I'm quiet. Then they get to know and, well, the complete opposite is true. I just don't stop talking. I get distracted really easily and talk to myself a lot. I read somewhere that creative people have a short attention span and talk to themselves, so that must be the reason! I daydream far too much and that has let to a lot of embarrassing times when I realise I've been staring at a person while thinking about the feeling of flying or what it's like to be a dog.... Like everybody else, I've made mistakes. I have made a lot of mistakes. But I don't regret any of them.

I like to think of myself as a really cool person, or a ninja, whenever I'm home alone, when in fact, I'm actually an awkward idiot that has the coordination of a spoon and gets stuck while trying to do a forward roll. I have long legs, so ticklers beware - I cannot be held accountable for any injuries sustained if you tickle me. I have curly brown hair that poofs when it rains and grows out before it grows down. I'm weirdly skinny and really pale. I have eyes that don't have an exact colour. I like to describe them as greeny-browny-grey-y. I can't tell you how difficult it has been writing a paragraph about myself in French because unfortunately, the French do not have a word for greeny-browny-grey-y. I suppose my eyes are the only thing I like about my appearance. I think they make up a bit of who I am because I've never met anybody that has my exact colour eyes. They're quite unique, which is difficult for foreign languages, I admit, but I have learned to love my eyes. They're not exactly pretty but they're different, which I have learned is a good thing.

I bite my nails because I'm constantly worrying about something. I almost always wear my hair in a braid. I love chocolate. I like wearing big jumpers and reading while it's raining. I love the smell of books and the sound of rain against my window while I'm trying to sleep. I like sticking my head out of my bedroom window and feeling the wind on my face and the rain on my tongue. I like the sound of pages turning and the feel of paper. I'm trying very hard not to care what people think of me anymore. I don't want to have to please everybody. I want people to like me for who I am - I don't want to suffocate the real me.

What makes me, me? My family. My likes. Reading. Writing. My interests. My eyes. My conversations with myself. My daydreams. My mistakes. My little quirks. My ninja qualities. My opinions. My thoughts. My ideas. My escape routes to other places. My goals. My dreams.

I hope you liked that. Have a wonderful week, all of you.

Love you all ♥

Bethan
xxxxxx

Bethan & The Pursuit of Happiness

Hello everybody. I hope you've all had a great week. :)

So I was thinking today; what is happiness? Like, what actually is that emotion. What causes it, how does it work? So I googled it. And by doing several things, that produce different molecules and such, you could create happiness.

By doing things that produce endocannabinoids, dopamine, oxytocin, endorphin, GABA, serotonin and adrenaline (I literally only know what two of those things are haha) your brain would create happy feelings. You could, theoretically, spend the majority of the time happy.

Think about how you feel most of the time. Is one of your constant emotions happiness? Because I realised last year that the majority of the time, I wasn't happy. I was lonely, upset and insecure.

But would we lead a good life if we were always happy? I mean, I have made a lot of mistakes and have been in hurtful situations. But I have learnt from those mistakes and I have become a better, stronger person because of everything that I regret and everything that's hurt me.

I'd love for everybody in the world to be happy. But sometimes we need to be hurt. Sometimes we need to make mistakes. Sometimes we need to feel lonely, upset and insecure, just so that we can become better people and lead a good life.

Sorry for my philosophical ramblings, but I just thought I'd share.

I love you all lots and lots

Bethan
xxxxxx

And the winner is...

Hey guys! These are the results for my 50 followers Writing Challenge. I had so many beautiful entries, but sadly I had to choose. :( I have given a 3rd, 2nd and 1st place along with a few honourable mentions. Please know that, even if I haven't chosen your entry as a winner, I loved all of them. You are all extremely talented writers! I narrowed 1st, 2nd and 3rd down to a few entries and then used a random name picker to pick a name. I will be giving the names of the runners up to each position as well.

I'm so sorry for this being late - I know I said they would be posted on Thursday but I kept on putting it off because they were all amazing and I didn't want to pick!
Let's get started.

Okay, in 3rd place is.......

Ella!

Congratulations Ella. Here's her entry:

The air around me hung suspended, frozen. The tips of my fingers were unfeeling, crammed into my jacket pockets in hopes that the numbness would melt away. Winter pressed itself against me, squeezing the oxygen from my lungs and drawing tears that pricked like needles on my skin.

I could hear the trees murmuring to each other, great oaks whispering back and forth.

"Do you see her down there?"

"Yes. She's standing by my trunk."

"Where is she going?"

"Where do you think? The same place they all go, in the end."

A breath escaped between my lips, and a pearly mist materialized before me, melting away as quickly as it had come.

But why not? This was the place where nothing stayed.

I heard it before I saw it. The sputtering and grinding of the engine, the tires crunching on the hard-packed snow. The headlights illuminated my figure, huddled by the curb, eyes too dark even to reflect the light.

The bus rolled towards me, its rusty doors already squeaking open before it lurched to a stop.

"You coming?" The driver had gray eyes. Ancient hands clutched the wheel like the branches of a gnarled tree.

I nodded, and stepped gingerly aboard. The smell of grease and ashes overwhelmed me. But there was something else there, too. Something familiar.

Three people. Three others like me. Stationed in their hard plastic seats, bent over and staring at the floor, clutching a backpack and looking stonily ahead.

I slowly lowered myself down. I could feel the aching in my knees, stiff and rusted and begging for relief. My hands found each other, and managed to fold onto my lap. They were still numb.

The doors scraped closed. The engine groaned but obediently sputtered on. Outside the dirt-streaked window, the oak trees did their best to wave goodbye.

"So, where are you headed?" The voice from beside me, quiet, tired.

I looked over. Raven hair. Ivory skin. A stranger. I turned back to the window.

"Home."

Well done Ella. Check out her blog Simply Scribbles. Here's a little picture thing. :)

The runners up for 3rd place were:

Lauren - Pretty Things and Polka Dots

Tane - Fifth out of Ten

Check out Lauren's entry here and Tane's entry here. Here's a button for you two lovely girls. :)

In second place is.......

Kat!

Congratulations Kat. Here's her entry:

It's time to wake up. To see the world properly. You're getting older now. You can't keep living in your dream.

It's time to wake up. It's time to see the trouble that's going on around you. To notice that not everyone is as lucky as you.

It's time to wake up. It's time to take your life into your own hands. To stop relying on others.

It's time to wake up. To decide what you're going to do. To be serious. It's time to stop playing around, getting into trouble.

It's time to wake up. It's time to notice who you are and what you're doing on this planet.

Well done Kat. Check out her blog (Almost) Completely Mad. Here's your picture:

The runners up for second place were:

Beth - Thoughts of a Long-Winded Lady

Eve - Eve of Womanhood

Click here for Eve's entry. Beth emailed me her entry, so it's below:

We're all just jesters dancing on an empty stage

Miming on tiptoe, pretending the act isn't going to end

But when the curtain falls, we all start to weep

Because we knew they were never ours to keep

We still rehearse, but we'll never perform

We make desperate acts in an attempt to hold on

The prices we all pay to not be alone

Remind me of the good things when I cannot share the throne

And if one little white lie is exposed,

We find ourselves forever alone.

And if one tiny little piece comes tumbling down,

We find that our whole world has been spun around.

The flowers that were thrown have withered away,

Their petals falling on an empty stage

The final performance is nothing but motions

Since there were never any emotions

And if all it ever was was a lie

What’s the point in us even claiming we tried?

The stage is destroyed, wasn't it all an act?

Our hearts in our throats, we don’t know how to react

Subtlety shooting the pitch-black sky,

Who’s fault is it, we can never decide,

Always taking sides in a nonexistent war,

Our lives are never the same as before.

The perfect fairy tale had fallen out of place,

Its bitter flavor is fading away.

The lies it’s so clear that we've all told,

Are nothing but false dreams outlined in gold.

The games that we all so willingly played

Always ended with a blackened page

The whispers from the crowd are rumors and lies

Unwittingly, we've planned our own demise.

Here's a thing for you guys:

And the winner is...........

~(•-•)~

JOLLYGIRL!

Congratulations Jollygirl! Here is her beautiful entry:

You were always there

Until you were not

You disappeared

You were gone

Your realness hidden away

Lost in a circle of taunting fears

Of nonacceptance

Caged by the veil

You laid upon yourself

Concealing

You,

Your beautiful self

Your strong emotions,

Your deep thoughts.

I used to admire you

But how can I now

When you've changed everything about yourself?

Well done, Jollygirl. Check out her blog, Reflections of a Jollygirl.

It was so hard to choose a winner. The runners up were:

MorningTime4 - The Ups and Downs of my Not-So-Average Life

Madeline - In the Wind

Sammie - Sammie the Stargirl

Click here for MorningTime4's entry, here for Madeline's entry and here for Sammie's entry.

Here are everybody else's entries:

Paige - The Joys of Being Paige - Entry

Rachel - Writing Half Alive - Entry

Chloee - The Secret Ghost Caller - Entry

Yasmine - Cloudy Dreams - Entry

Nabeela - Ridawkward-and-Hyperbubbly - Entry

Janice - The Other Version of Me - Entry

Emily - Lynde Avenue - Entry

Livy - Little Livys - Entry

Go read them all because they're all amazing! 

Right, that's it for a post today. I'm going to be posting again on Wednesday with a birthday book haul/general haul thing - I'm so excited for my birthday! 1 more full day! - and something for Creative Thursday because you don't need 3 posts in the space of a few days!

Thanks for reading guys. And thank you all so much for entering my writing competition!

I'm back! - Creative Thursday & news

Hey guys!
I am back from my Godmother's, as of Monday, but I was super tired and didn't really feel like posting - sorry! And I've been busy Tuesday and Wednesday, with my cousin over and seeing an old friend with Lauren and Megan (she's recently started her blog, go check it out now. You should definitely do that. ;D )
But you're getting a post today before I leave for London - but more about that and other things later on. First, Creative Thursday!

{via Pinterest}

She clutches her train ticket, not letting her one chance of freedom slip through her fingers like sand. Her left knee bounces, the balls of her feet just barely touching the ground. She stands up and paces along the platform, staring into the blackness, waiting for the train. She sits down again and bites her thumbnail, glancing down the track every few seconds. She picks up her empty coffee cup, then places it down again - she doesn't dare get a new one now. She could miss her train, and that would end it all. This is her one chance, her only chance to get away from them. All she needs is to get on that train and she is free. She prays that nobody will try to strike up a conversation, that nobody will sit next to her, that nobody will recognise her. She lowers her head, hiding the lower half of her face in her warm scarf. Her stomach growls, angry at her for not eating anything. But she couldn't afford the time it would take to grab a burger or a doughnut. She was risking it grabbing a coffee, but she was so tired, she was afraid she'd fall asleep on the bench by the side of the tracks and miss her train. She would buy some food on the train. She could wait. All she needs is to get on the train.
'Of all the trains to be delayed, why this one?' She thinks.
She un-tucks her hair from behind her ears, letting it fall across her face, hiding it from strangers.
'I am invisible.'
"Um.. Excuse me? May I sit here?"
She glances up, cursing in her mind. A tall boy, a couple of years older than her, stares down at her with warm brown eyes. He pushes a curl of brown hair out of his eyes and smiles nervously at her.
"Sure." She replies. This is the last thing she needs.
'Obviously not as invisible as I thought.'

Well, I hope you liked that! It's just a quick thing that I might use in a story at some point.
Right, news.

I am off to London tomorrow and won't be back until Monday. I think I will post sometime on Tuesday, because I'll be tired and unpacking on Monday. The post will probably be pictures of London and stuff I bought, so that gives you some idea. :) I'm so excited!

You have 10 days to enter my writing competition. Information about that here. Make sure if you are interested in entering, you enter by the deadline - 31st August, midnight, your time. I have had 12 entries so far, which is amazing - a lot more than I thought I would get! They are all wonderful!

Urgh, it's raining. *sigh* Let's hope it's better weather in London this weekend!

Right, well that's all I think. Bye guys.
Thanks for reading ♥

(late) Creative Thursday // C.C.C.WC :: Chapter Six + Photo Challenge Entries

Helloooooooooooo!
Ya know what time it is......It's Friday. I'm posting. That can only mean one thing... A late Creative Thursday. XD
I will be sharing with you, my lovely readers, Chapter 6 for the wonderful Celia's Writing Challenge. Click here to check out her magnificent blog, here to find out more about Chapter 6, and here for more info about the Writing Challenge.
One more thing before I start. I did a guest post on the beautiful Rose's flawless blog, Truly. Madly. Deeply. That was more of my writing, so if you wish to check that out, click here, here, or here.
...I've written 'here' too many times and now it doesn't look like a word.... My brain is melting....

.....

...

Anyways! Chapter 6.

-------------------

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

----------------------

Grace closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto the itchy bus seat. People around her muttered apologies as they squeezed into seats next to strangers and their shopping bags slapped against legs.

She sat like that for a while, watching the patterns swirl and twist across the darkness of her eyelids, when a thought came to her, emerging from the black.

I never changed. I just learned.

She opened her eyes. Whose voice was that? Because it wasn't hers.

"Hey, Gracie, are you sure about this top?"

Jess' face hovered inches above hers, holding up the floaty floral top she'd bought earlier.

Grace sighed and sat up. "Yes, yeah. It's gorgeous, Kit-Kat. It looked amazing on you." She smiled wearily. Jess noticed.

"Gracie, what is it? What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath before turning fully to look at Jess. Another deep breath, before saying, "I'm fine."

She hated lying to her best friend, but it was for the best. Jess looked skeptical.

"Honestly, I am." Grace said, laughing.

Though still unsatisfied, Jess decided to drop it, instead going back to holding up each item of clothing for Grace to see again.

"Oooo, I almost forgot about this one..." Jess said, rifling through a bag as the bus lurched forward onto the road.

Grace laughed. "I think it's fair to say you have an obsession with shopping, Kit-Kat."

Jess grinned before picking up Grace's shopping bag and looking through it. She glanced up, "So, you coming over for lunch?"

Grace snatched her bag back while nodding.

Jess smiled, "Cool beans."

***

"How's your mum doing now, Grace?"

Grace looked up from her plate to see Julie, Jess' mother, watching her with a concerned look on her face.

Grace smiled, "She's a lot better now, I think. She... Yeah. Better. She's been going to more job interviews."

"That's great!" Julie beamed, scooping sweetcorn onto her plate.

"Did you have a good birthday, Grace?" Jess' father poured gravy over his plate and handed the jug to Jess.

She nodded, rubbing the ring on her finger that Jess had given her. "Yes, it was great, thanks, Andrew. Yeah. Really great."

Jess' little brother walked in to the dining room carrying a piece of paper.

"Hey, Tommy!" Grace ruffled his hair as he sat down.

He gave her a small smile and slid  the piece of paper across the table towards her.

"I'm really sorry it's late. It wasn't finished when you came over last time." He mumbled as she picked up the piece of paper.

It was a birthday card. 'Happy Birthday' was written in red crayon, the letters varying in sizes. There was a photo glued inside. It had been taken before... Grace sniffled... before her dad had died. Jess' parents had been having a garden party. Grace and Jess were mashing cake into each other's faces and Tommy was keeled over laughing. Her mum and dad were smiling, gazing at each other and Jess' parents were laughing hysterically.

Grace wiped away a tear. "Thank you so much, Tom."

***

"Mum, the yellow paint has run out!" Grace yelled.

"Check the cupboard next to the shelves!" was the reply.

Grace sighed and got up, placing her paintbrush onto her palette. Her vest top was already covered with splashes of colour, as were her arms, but she didn't mind. She quickly re-adjusted her ponytail before opening the cupboard. A new bottle of yellow acrylic sat proudly in the centre of the cabinet, surrounded by a mess of other paints, palettes and overalls.

"Found it! Thanks Mum!" She shouted down the stairs.

Grace made her way back to her stool, dodging canvases and easels.

This room had been her Dad's study and her studio. But after he died... Well, the study wasn't needed anymore.

Grace sat down on her stool, closed her eyes and leaned her arms against her canvas as she watched memory after memory of her dad. Her 6th birthday party, when he took her to the zoo. Her parents' 20th anniversary last year, when he bought two plane tickets to Paris, letting Grace sleep over Jess' place for the weekend they were away. A montage of all the happy moments with him flashed across her eyelids, and she felt a tear slip out onto her cheek.

"I know you miss him."

Grace sat up, eyes wide open. That wasn't her mum's voice. It was definitely male. She stared around the room, her eyes falling on a figure, standing by the open window.

She opened her mouth to scream. The figure dashed forward and placed his hand gently over her mouth. He was so fast. She wouldn't be able to outrun him, even if she had the chance.

"Hello, Gracie." He said. Grace gasped behind his hand. It was the boy from yesterday.

He smiled tightly. "I've come to take you back home."

----------------------

Want to do it too? I'm sure you can still join!

To clarify for Celia and any of you wondering:

Obsession - Jess, shopping

Little Kid Character - Tommy

Quote for the Book - I never changed. I just learned.

Cliffhanger - "I've come to take you back home."

Well, I really hope you liked that! I am really enjoying taking part in this Writing Challenge. It's sooooo much fun, and it's really forcing me to write, even when I have a bit of writer's block, as I do right now.

Now, for my entries for Anna's Photo Challenge. Please check out Anna's amazing blog, Banana and Bear.

Category 1: Summer Food

Category 2: Summer Fashion

Category 3: Nature

Category 4: Animal

Category 5: Summer Activity

Category 6: Something you use in Summer

Category 7: Anything

I hope you like them. :) I'm especially proud of that last one!

And my entry for Paige's Photo Challenge: Category 6, which is 'Sun'. Here's mine!

Wow, this was quite a long post... Warning for you all. There might be another really long post on Monday. Just letting you know! Sorry for all the long posts recently. Ideas for posts have just sort of built up and I need to get them all done so I can go back to the normal posts I used to do. Lately, I haven't been doing any life updates or anything, and I've missed doing that. Because it's like talking (or typing, I suppose) to friends, which you all are. And I want you to know what's going on in my life right now, what I'm loving, what I'm reading, what I'm listening to. What's happening.

So yeah. Possible super long post on Monday.

I've said the word 'post' too many times now....

.....

Melting brain again.....

.....

Thanks for reading (and putting up with my weird, weird self). Love you! ♥

Think. Read. Write. Dream. writing challenge information

Hey guys!
So as I mentioned in this post I have reached 50 followers (I still can't believe it. I'm still speechless. Thank you!) and I have decided to have a writing challenge!
This is just a little post to give any of you considering entering some information about it.

Your entry can be a poem, a paragraph, a scene from a story, a chapter, a letter, or a short story. It can be something completely new, or it can be something you have already written. All content must be original - no stealing from anybody else, unless you are using a quote. If you do decide to quote someone, please say who the quote originates from (or which book if you are using a Bible quote.)

If you are participating, please let me know in the comments below. To participate, simple put the button below on your blog's sidebar, post your entry and leave me a link in the comments below, so I can find the entries easily. You may also email them to me if you feel more comfortable that way.

<div align="center">
<a href="http://thinkreadwritedream.blogspot.co.uk/" title="Think. Read. Write. Dream."><img src="http://i1079.photobucket.com/albums/w510/fflcgirl/writingchallenge_zps6363892b.jpg" alt="Think. Read. Write. Dream." style="border:none;" /></a></div>

All entries must be posted by midnight, your time, on August 31st. Please make your entries family friendly - no swear words!

If you have any questions, ask me in the comments below or email me at:
bethan{dot}thinkreadwritedream{at}gmail{dot}com
Same thing goes for if you think I've missed something out.

There won't be a prize because of shipping cost and such, but I will do a post announcing the winner, along with a 2nd and 3rd place, and possibly an honourable mention. And if you want to, you can do a guest post on this blog, but if you'd rather not, then that part isn't necessary. :)

Thanks for reading. I hope you decide to enter! ♥

Quick post + Six Word Story #7

Hi, guys. :]
I just thought I'd do a really small, quick post to say sorry for the lack of Creative Thursday. And that I'm currently working on Chapter 6 for Celia's Writing Challenge, but it's going quite slowly as I'm spending a lot of time outside - swimming, playing table tennis, reading - instead of sitting on my laptop. But I am leaving Devon and going back home tomorrow - :( - so, I'll have more time to write - I only have four sentences so far.... yeah...
Basically, I will be posting Chapter 6 very soon - next Thursday probably, but it could be earlier.

......I feel bad! I love all you guys, I don't want to not post properly....

*intense thinking*

Okay, fine! I have decided to quickly write a six word story. So, there you go. Even if you were looking forward to a week without my writing, which is probably the majority, here is a six word story.

via

Home can be wherever you want.
Home can be whoever you want.
Home can be whatever you want.

~~~

There you go. :)

Thanks for reading. I love you all! ♥

Creative Thursday: Tane's writing challenge + Paige's Photo Challenge: Category 3

Hi guys!
Sorry this is late, but last night I was packing for my holiday. :) I'm going to Devon with my family for all of next week, which is going to be really fun. I'm taking so many books to read!
Anyways, this is my entry for Tane's writing challenge - I really hope you like it!

*** 

I've been thinking. And I've realised I'm like a little flower. I'm fragile and oh-so delicate. You can crush me with your smallest finger and toss me aside like I'm nothing. And I am. Nothing, that is. I'm lively and bright and colourful with my armour, my petals. Pluck my petals - my jokes, my smiles, my laughter, my "I'm fine"s - and you see what I truly am. A tiny stump of a thing with nothing to hide behind, nothing for me to use as a shield. An ugly thing to be thrown away and forgotten about after no time at all. I really try to stay strong. But it's so hard. So, so, so hard when you have people staring at you, shouting at you, pointing out your flaws a million times over and moving on without you as if you're nothing. Which you are. I am nothing. Nothing. I just want to be loved and cared for and seen for who I truly am without being judged and tossed aside in disgust. I am hurting and I don't know how to stop it.

***

So there you go. I wrote that last week when I was a bit.... upset. As you can probably tell. *coughs*

Well, I hope you liked it.

You can join Tane's challenge too! Click here to go over to her BEAUTIFUL blog. :)

And now for Paige's Photo Challenge - Category 3! The 3rd category was Nature. I took this photo when I went to Bristol Zoo with my school yesterday, in the Butterfly Forest area.

Bristol Zoo was amazing. :) The penguins and seals were so cute!

Love you guys!

Thanks for reading. ♥

Creative Thursday: Six Word Story #6 and Mockingjay Teaser Trailer 2

Hey, guys!
Creative Thursday.... on time?!
One of the Teacher Unions are having a strike today, so I have the day off school *PARTIES* Haha, I didn't have a party, I'm joking. C'mon guys, it's me we're talking about. I slept in late and have been reading all day.
So here you go. Bit of a short one as I want to get back to reading - I've just started The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak and it's amazing! - so it's just a few six word stories for you.

{photo via Pinterest. Isn't it just adorable? So cute.}

For the first time, I'm happy.

And it feels amazing. Absolutely amazing.

The darkness is still there, hidden.

But I can pretend it isn't.

Just for this moment, I'm happy.

*****

As you can probably tell, I'm feeling a lot happier now. But I can feel the pile building again. *sigh* the circle is never-ending.

ALSO, have you guys seen the second Mockingjay teaser trailer? If you follow me on Pinterest, you've probably seen me pinning everything to do with it....

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Johanna. :( And... and Beetee!
'The Mockingjay lives'
*faints*
I'm so excited for this film, you have no idea! I love the two teaser trailers we have had so far. I did a post about the first one here.

Thanks for reading ♥

Creative Thursday....Late again....

Hey guys. I am so sorry for always being late. But I have a valid reason this time! I came in yesterday after a bit of a rough day, did some homework, had dinner.....and fell asleep. That's right. I thought I fell asleep for 10 minutes, maybe 15. No. Oh no. I was informed afterwards that I fell asleep for 2 hours. 2 hours! So yeah.. That happened. But here it is anyway because I love you guys and hate to disappoint (not that you're waiting for me to post, looking forward to reading my writing - I know that isn't happening...)

*****

Little things, making chips in the dam that holds back all my feelings, all my emotions. The thing that holds back my tears, that stops me from breaking, is started to crack. Tiny things, things that shouldn't matter, are building up. At first, they're chipping away at the wall. But as they build and build and build, they begin to slam against the wall, large cracks spreading across the dam, joining together, forming jagged constellations.

And then it's breaking, crumbling, and I'm breaking and crumbling with it. The tears come, the feelings release, I let go, finally.
I need to be alone. Right. Now.
I'm panicking, I can feel the emotions surging and crashing over me.
I need to be alone.

I run. I run away and hide and cry. I can't run away from my thoughts, though.

'Nobody likes you, Bethan.'

'Everybody thinks you're weird, Bethan.'

'Your friends wish you'd leave them alone, Bethan.'

'You're not good enough, Bethan.'

The feelings are crashing over me like a wave and I'm drowning. 

I can't breathe. 

I can't breathe. 

I can't breathe.

And then I'm forced out of hiding, but I'm not ready yet. So I'm forced to re-build the wall, shove the wave back. Until the next time I shatter. It's a vicious cycle, and I can never win. Because the feelings are always there, but I can never express them. I hold them back. I break. I shove them away. I hold them back. I crumble. I shove them away. Over and over again.

How long can I do this?

I don't think I can stand this much longer.

*****

Sorry this is a bit depressing. As I said, rough day yesterday. It's how I'm feeling right now. This is the truth, though. This is me. Me and the vicious cycle.

Not that you care.

(really, really, really late) Creative Thursday // C.C.C.WC :: Chapter Five

Hey, guys!
Here is my Creative Thursday. I know... I know. Bethan didn't post on time. And not only not on time, but 3-4 days late. That...that is a new record for me.... I'm so sorry! I started this on Thursday but had homework to do, and then more homework on Friday. Saturday... Saturday, I have no excuse because I read all day.. actually, that is an excuse - read Looking for Alaska in a day. :) Did nothing else.... #socialskills.
Anyway, so here it is! Chapter 5 for Celia's Writing Challenge. I am having so much fun! Click here for her amazing blog, here to find out more about Chapter 5 and here for more info on the Writing Challenge.

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Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

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Crow closed the hatch behind him before making his way down the stairs. Rosie's curls bounced in front of him, gradually faded into the darkness around them. He had once needed a torch to light his way down the steps, but now he knew every nook, every crack, every uneven surface.
The black began to lighten until Crow could see the long white corridor, lit up by fluorescent lights. People moved along the hall, moving in and out of rooms, shuffling papers, fiddling with blades and guns.
Rosie winced again, pressing her fingers against her arm. The blood had nearly stopped now - a small drop was winding its way between her fingers, along her tanned hand and down her arm, a tattoo in red ink, swirling around her wrist and twisting on her forearm.
"Come on. Rhea should be in the planning room," Crow said as he placed his hand in the crook of her arm. A drop of blood landed on his fingers. He ignored it.
They walked along the main corridor, then turned left. Nobody was walking down here. It was still and quiet, the white walls and floor muffling any sound. Rose glanced down at his hand on her arm before staring up at him, smiling. There was a glint in her eyes that made Crow feel uneasy.
He stopped abruptly, taking his hand away from her arm. She looked confused as he began to speak, "Listen, I love Gracie. She's beautiful and funny and intelligent and... Not that you're not any of those things. You're..you are beautiful. I just don't like you. I mean, of course I like you. Just not in that way. I love... I love Grace. Okay?"
There was an awkward silence, heavy and suffocating. Crow shuffled his feet, staring at the white tiles, up at the ceiling, anywhere but at her. Rose gazed up at him, her eyes flitting over his face, before breaking into a grin,
"Honestly, Crow, get over yourself. I'm not into you, if that's what you're suggesting. I know that you and Grace..." She trailed off, looking awkward, her grin slipping. Then, after only a second, the smile was back, "So can we get me to Rhea before I bleed to death?"
Crow sighed with relief, and took her arm again, guiding her to a door at the end of the corridor. He knocked, four times, slow, once, four times, fast, then twice. The sound of several locks being turned and pulled back echoed through the corridor before the door was opened, revealing a severe looking man - dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes. But his mouth was pulled into a huge smile, white teeth gleaming.
"Hey, Crow! And Rosie!"
"Hiya, Scott." Rose grunted.
Scott noticed her gritted teeth and the blood winding its way down her arm and the smile left his face, "Oh my... What happened? Rhea! Get Will here. Rosie's bleeding."
Scott ushered us in, locking the door behind us. Rose sat down on a chair, clutching her arm.
The planning room was a mess, papers scattered on tables and empty food packets littering the floor but it was still beautiful. The walls and ceiling were a map of the stars, all the constellations painted and labelled with extreme accuracy. A telescope sat in the corner, ready to be taken upstairs and out into the woods for star-gazing. But there wasn't time for that anymore. There was only planning, nothing else. Not after...
Crow shook his head, helping clear maps and pencils from a long conference table. Will came in, his shoulder-length blond hair tangled and flying over his face as he lay bandages and antiseptic on the now empty table.
Scott turned to Crow, "What happened? Was it... them?"
Crow blushed. "No, it was me. I came in and heard a noise upstairs. I didn't know she was up there. I thought it was one of them. I couldn't see her face - it was too dark. So I swung. I'm sorry."
Scott nodded and clapped Crow on the back, "Don't worry about it. We all would have done the same."
Rosie looked up as Will wrapped a bandage around her arm, smiling at Crow, "I'm fine, Crow. Don't worry about me."
Crow nodded as Rhea walked back in holding a water bottle. Her long white hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she wore the same knitted cream jumper and worn jeans as yesterday. She was young, 23 years old, but her dyed silver hair and severe frown lines from recent worries made her look older.
She listened carefully as Scott told her the story, then burst out laughing. "So, you cut Rosie? Wow, Crow. You idiot!"
Crow smiled. Rhea used to laugh so much, but he hadn't heard her in so long. It was a relief to hear her warm, rich laughter in this miserable time.
She hugged him then. Her jumper was thick and warm and she smelled of sweat and acrylic paints and vanilla and safe. She was home for Crow. She acted like Crow's mother and big sister and teacher and occasionally army general but really, she was just home.
Rhea pulled back and smiled at him, but her eyes were worried. "Come on. I'll show you the plans."

----------------------

Want to do it too?

Well, I hope you liked that. :) I love Rhea - I think she might be my favourite character. She's so strong for everyone but she herself is so vulnerable and weak. I also love Scott. He's the one that gives big bear hugs and cracks jokes.

So, yeah. Sorry it's late!
I decided to post this instead of my usual Words post, and I won't be posting tomorrow - it will probably be Tuesday or Wednesday. :] - as I have my Grade 4 piano exam on Tuesday morning, so I'll be practicing hard for that!

Thanks for reading ♥

Creative....Wednesday?! Six Word Story #5

Hey, guys!
Wait....what? Bethan....posting a Creative Thursday.... early?!
Yes, guys. I'm posting early for once. That's right. I can be organised when I want to be....haha....not often...
But, I am going to see The Fault in our Stars tomorrow (because that's when it comes out over here in the UK) with the beautiful Charlotte - I'm so excited! I am taking a tissue box. Literally. I will be posting a movie review I think, or maybe just say my thoughts in a general post...probably the latter because I'm lazy and I'd probably mess up the review haha! - so I won't be able to post tomorrow - well, I would be able to, but it would be late, rushed, and, let's be honest, I'd probably forget... >.<
And I didn't want you guys to miss out on a Creative Thursday. So, it's early. Yay! *sprinkles glitter everywhere*
Celia is letting a few people catch up with their Writing Challenge chapters, so hasn't posted a new challenge. So, it's back to the good ol' days of six word stories and poems for this week. :) Feels so weird...

{photo via Pinterest}

Let's go on an adventure together.

Let's leave and never come back .

Let's go. Let's disappear. Right now.

+++

Okay, so three six word stories... 3 for the price of 1. ;)

Well, thanks for reading ♥

I hope you've all had a great week so far. Love you all!

C.C.C.WC :: Chapter Four // Banana and Bear's Photo Challenge #1

Hey, guys! Here is Chapter Four of Celia's Writing Challenge. Check out her (wonderful) blog here, more info about the challenge here and the post about the fourth challenge here.

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Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

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Grace woke up with her hand clutching a piece of paper. It was a note, scrawled in a red felt tip pen, the words sloping diagonally across the page,
'Happy Birthday, sweetheart. I know I've been distant lately. I'm so sorry. I am trying - I'm trying so hard. For you, more than anything. I love you so much, my beautiful girl. xxxxxxx'
There was a tiny heart drawn in the corner of the paper. Grace smiled and folded the note neatly, placing it on her desk before heading down the creaky stairs.  Her mum was sat at the old wooden table, applying peach lipstick. Another job interview today, then. Presents were in the middle of the table, arranged in height order, ready to be opened. She grabbed a slice of toast and a jar of Nutella before sitting down opposite her mum.
"Hi, mum." She spread Nutella thickly over her toast, licking the knife clean before screwing the lid back on.
"Morning, sweetie. Happy Birthday!"
Grace smiled, and grabbed her toast. "I'm going over to Jess' again. She wants to give me her present. I'll be back soon, though."
Her mum looked disappointed, but nodded, "Have fun, sweetheart. I'll see you later!"
Grace disappeared upstairs and quickly changed, throwing on old, faded jeans, a paint-splattered t-shirt and a hoodie. She picked up her iPod, shoving the ear buds in, escaping through the music. Scooping up her toast, she stuffed her feet into worn converse, the sole peeling off the left shoe.
She ran out the door, listening to the classical music trickling into her ears. She took another bite of her toast, thinking about the boy from yesterday. His hair the colour of ink contrasting with his smooth, pale skin, and grey eyes. He was like light and darkness, sunshine and shadows mixed into one beautiful being.
Grace shook her head. Why was she thinking about him? He was nothing - she didn't know him at all, no name, no age. Just a face. A stranger on the street. But how had he known her name? That's what was really bothering her. How did he know her?

***

Grace was sat on Jess' bed, Otis lying in her lap. He was a beautiful cat, shiny black fur, green eyes and his little pink tongue always poking out. She gave him a quick squeeze as Jess came back into the room, carrying a big bag and a card in her hand. Grace frowned, "I thought you said you were going to cut down on the presents this year?"

Jess looked confused, biting her lip as she sat down on the bed, "I did cut down."

Laughing, Grace took the bag from her, placing it next to her on the bed. 

"Are you not going to open them?"

Sighing, Grace gently nudged Otis onto the pillow, where he snuggled down under the duvet. "I need to talk to you about something first."

Jess looked worried, turning to face her on the bed, "Okay....What do you want to talk about? Is it Evan?"

"What? No, it's not Evan." She tucked a loose strand of mousy brown hair behind her ear. Jess's red hair was perfectly straight and swept up in a messy bun, tilting slightly to the side as she waited for Grace to speak. Even sitting down, it was obvious that she was tiny compared to Jess. She felt even smaller now, worried what she was about to talk to her about would push away her best friend.

"I just...I bumped into this guy yesterday. And...I thought  I knew him. But I've never met him before. I don't know his name, but I...I swear I've seen him before. Am I going mad?"

Jess looked at her strangely, horror in her eyes. Grace started to panic, 'That's it. Now I'll officially have no friends. She thinks I'm crazy. I never should have said anything.'

But Jess fell out of her daze and shook her head, "Don't worry about it, Gracie. You probably saw him around here somewhere, or saw someone like him." She put her arms around Grace and squeezed her tight, "Come on, now. Open up your presents!"

I hope you liked it! I know it isn't as long as the others, but I am sooooo tired today. Do you ever have those days where you just want to sleep, but you have so much to do? That's me. Every day. I had to write this, do my homework, take a picture for the thingy below, try and read as much of my book as possible and clean my room. But I just wanted to sleeeeeeppppp. It's been horrible :(

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It's not too late (...)

And part two of this post, it's the beginning of Anna's (from Banana and Bear) Photo Challenge! Check out her amazing blog here, the photo challenge information here, people taking part here and the first challenge info here.

The first category is Summer Snacks. Here's my picture:

Ta da!

Thanks for reading ♥

P.S. Now I have 40 followers. Thank you all so much! If I reach 50 followers, I'll do a contest or something :) Love you all!