Recommendations: TV shows

Pinch, punch, first of the month! It properly feels like autumn now - I don't know about where you guys are, but here, it's raining, the jumpers have been brought out, and Christmas songs are in my head constantly.

The weather is awful at the moment so I couldn't take any photos because of the poor lighting. Please enjoy this photo of flowers my dad took during the summer.

I'm a big fan of watching TV shows, as a lot of you may know. I'm also an incredible binge watcher - I watched seasons 1-6 of Game of Thrones in just under two weeks so that I was ready for season 7; I watched all of Parks and Recreation in about a week and a half; I watched the first season of Brooklyn 99 in a day. I don't know what it is about binge-watching stuff, but I can't seem to stop.

As a result of this, I am everyone's go-to for recommendations, whether it's TV shows, films, books, or music. I'll probably do several more of these recommendations posts, either compiling a list of recommendations or writing a post about a singular thing I'm recommending.

I haven't included the plots as for most of them, the plots I could find simplify them too much, so google the show names to find a rough idea and then just watch them please.

I've categorised the shows below so you can skip reading the Comedy section if you know that's not your kind of thing etc. etc. I've also put little * by my all time favourite shows.

Let's start!

COMEDY:

The US Office*

This was the first American sitcom I watched and so it will always hold a very special place in my heart. I watched the first episode of the UK Office and abandoned ship because nothing can ever come close to the affection I have for this show. My brothers introduced it to me when I was about 13 and I've never laughed and cried and become so invested in a show so quickly. I think it probably started my obsession with binging shows, as I watched all 9 seasons of it in a very short amount of time. I even have a Dunder Mifflin sweatshirt (which I'm wearing in the photo I used for my post 17 things I learnt at 17) While I may prefer Parks and Rec or B99 to it now, I have an eternal love for the Office. Please please please watch it - the first season is the weakest, and it only gets better.

Parks and Recreation*

Parks and Rec started off as 'The US Office but in a different office' but my goodness, did it come into its own. Around the end of season 2/beginning of season 3, it embraced it's nature as an uplifting, adorable show and becomes one of the funniest and happiest shows to watch. I love it. I love it so much. I cried so hard throughout this show. I can't even explain the joy it brings me.

Brooklyn 99*

Y'all, this show. First of all, I adore Andy Samberg. What a guy. Secondly, this show is so diverse and *gasp* doesn't write any of its minority characters as stereotypes. Its diverse cast allows it to write incredible episodes which focus on real world issues, like season 4's 16th episode 'Moo Moo', which deals with racial prejudice in the police force. It's also hilarious. There is no episode of B99 that I don't enjoy. They are all adorable, hilarious with clever storylines and amazing acting. I love this show so much. Also, season 5 has only just started, so it's easily bingeable.

DRAMA:

Jane the Virgin*

It's such a weird premise, but the tongue-in-cheek telenovella style is done so well and Gina Rodriguez is so amazing in this show. It's hilarious and has the cutest romances and has made me sob many, many times. I'm so excited for it to return in a few weeks. It's essentially a very well made soap opera, but I couldn't care less. I love it.

Master of None*

Aziz Ansari was in Parks and Rec, which is why I started this show, but now I love it for so many more reasons than just him. Season 1 is very good, but season 2 is incredible. The visuals are amazing, and every episode is so funny but so clever and heart-warming, with powerful storylines and messages. It's just one of the most uplifting shows.

CRIME/THRILLER:

Broadchurch

I love a murder-mystery, but Broadchurch is so much more than just a murder-mystery. It's so intense, and every actor and actress in it is incredible. David Tennant and Olivia Coleman are true national treasures. Season 1 remains the best, but every season is wonderful.

Luther

Genuinely one of the creepiest crime shows I've ever watched. The last few seasons aren't as good, but season 1 and 2 are terrifying. If you watch it, you will understand when I say that I will literally never open the door late at night ever. again. Scarred for life. But it's amazing.

How to Get Away with Murder

Viola Davis. Do I need to say more? Season 1 is still the best, but my goodness, this showwwww!!!

ACTION:

Game of Thrones*

AAAHHHHHH PLEASE JUST WATCH IT.

Jessica Jones*

I loved Daredevil, but Jessica Jones was just on an entirely different level for me. Krysten Ritter is amazing, as is David Tennant, and I am so excited for season 2. I really need to watch The Defenders so I can see more of JJ being amazing.

SCI-FI:

Black Mirror*

This show is INSANE. It's not for everyone - it's dark and twisted and uncomfortable at times. But it is incredibly clever and brilliantly written, and I just think everyone should see at least one episode.

Stranger Things*

I cannot express my love for this show. I am so excited for season 2 in a few weeks. It is brilliant. The writing, the storyline, the child actors they've found. Everything about it is exceptional. Also, I love the 80s.

Orphan Black

I already talked about this show in my monthly favourites but I had to include it in this list as well because I'm still mourning its loss.

I'm sorry this post is so rushed and my thoughts on each show aren't as detailed as I'd like. I'm very tired, and I've been super duper busy recently, so I didn't have much time to write everything down. Hopefully you've kind of got the gist of my thoughts.

Let me know if I've mentioned any of your favourite shows, or if there's a series you think I'd enjoy. Until next week!

a plan for October

Hello, lovely people!

I'm so sorry this is a day late - I've been so busy this week, with loads of shifts at work and a million essays to write for school, so I need this morning to plan all my blog posts before I could write this post. But better late than never, right?

Here's the run down for the month of October:

SUNDAY 1ST OCTOBER: TV Show Recommendations
I watch a lot of TV. Like a lot of TV. And one of my absolute favourite things to do is to recommend any and all shows I'm watching to everyone around me. I'm no amateur - I tailor my recommendations to the person I'm talking to (I know my friends very well and I know my rom-com loving best friend wouldn't enjoy a sci-fi thriller) - but I just love telling someone to watch a show and seeing them a week later as they barrel towards me grinning and yelling 'I WATCHED THE FIRST FEW EPISODES OF THAT SHOW AND OH MY GOODNESS'. It makes my heart happy. So I wanted to share a few of my favourite shows with you lovely people - I'll split them into categories like comedy and drama etc. so you can focus on the genre you like.

SUNDAY 8TH OCTOBER: Film Review: IT
I'm not a huge fan of horror films, just because I'm quite a jumpy person anyway, but I like them when they're clever and Stephen King's stories are always clever, so naturally I loved IT. I thought I'd do a lovely little review, as I already reviewed it on my school radio show so I've got ready-made notes on it. I'm excited to start doing more reviews. It will be majority, if not completely spoiler-free, and any areas I do spoil will be heavily guarded with 'SPOILERS BELOW' warnings and all that jazz, so don't you worry about that.

SUNDAY 15TH OCTOBER: Halloween Costume Ideas
I know Halloween isn't until October 31st, but the Sunday before Halloween will be my monthly favourites, and it just so happens that I'm going to a Halloween party on Friday 13th (you see? Because it's Friday 13th, which is unlucky, so it's Halloween? Yes? You get it? Good) so I'll be able to show you my costume (which I haven't decided on yet) as well as some other cool ideas.

SUNDAY 22ND OCTOBER: Favourite Halloween/Horror Films
I may extend this to TV shows, or at least episodes of certain TV shows, as I like to rewatch some of my favourite shows' Halloween episodes around the spooky season. It'll just be a list of my favourite horror and Halloween themed films, so look forward to that.

SUNDAY 29TH OCTOBER: October Favourites
Just like last month, I'll be doing a little post about the things I've been loving during the month of October - books, films, TV shows, music, clothes, makeup, and a bunch of other random stuff. A nice way to round off the month.

I hope you're all as excited as I am for this month's posts. I'll be back tomorrow with my TV show recommendations. Have a lovely weekend!

September Favourites

Well, it's the final Sunday of September, so that means it's time for the first of my monthly favourites! My last post was very long, so I'll try to make this one a more reasonable length - let's just dive right in.

BOOKS:

The Power // Naomi Alderman

plot: All over the world women are discovering they have the power. With a flick of the fingers they can inflict terrible pain - even death. Suddenly, every man on the planet finds they've lost control. The day of the girls has arrived - but where will it end?

This book is insane. I'm loving the surge in feminist literature - stuff like The Handmaid's Tale TV show has really brought attention to this genre and it means so many incredible books are being written which call out systemic sexism or exaggerate issues women face to get the point across. For example, The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood exaggerates the lack of say women have regarding their own reproductive rights. The Power shows how the world would be if the systemic sexism was flipped, and it's a fascinating read. I loved it.

Stories of You Life and Others // Ted Chiang

plot: What is men built a tower from Earth to Heaven - and broke through to Heaven's other side? What if we discovered that the fundamentals of mathematics were arbitrary and inconsistent? What if there were a science of naming things that calls life into being from inanimate matter? What if exposure to an alien language forever changed our perception of time? What if all the beliefs of fundamentalist Christianity were literally true, and the sight of sinners being swallowed into fiery pits were routine events on city streets? These are the kinds of outrageous questions posed by Ted Chiang. Stories of your life... and others.

I got these book for my birthday and loved it - it's a collection of amazing sci-fi short stories, one of which is the basis for the recent film Arrival, starring Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner, which is why this was bought for me as a present (I love Arrival - please watch it if you haven't seen it). It was such an interesting collection of short stories, and I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who loves a clever bit o' science fiction.

FILMS/TV SHOWS:

Orphan Black

plot: Sarah, a streetwise hustler on the run from a lifetime of bad decisions, witnesses the suicide of a stranger who looks just like her and adopts her identity.

I started this show towards the end of the summer and finished it a couple of weeks ago and now I'm in a seemingly endless mourning period because it's gone forever and I miss it. Tatiana Maslany is such an incredible actress, and the show's exploration of ethics and moral issues, as well as the strong family bond it creates between the characters over the seasons means this show is interesting and emotional and mind-blowing. I miss watching it for the first time.

IT

plot: A group of bullied kids band together when a shapeshifting demon, taking the appearance of a clown, begins hunting children.

You must have been living under a rock if you haven't heard of IT. Stephen King's classic novel is amazing enough, and I know the 1990 miniseries starring Tim Curry is meant to be amazing also, but this film was just so good. I'm not a fan of horror films, but IT is so much more than just a horror film. The cast is insanely talented as well - when did child actors become so good at acting?! Needless to say, I'm excited for the sequel

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

plot: When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, the Kingsman's journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organisation in the US. These two elite secret organisations must band together to defeat a common enemy.

I loved the first Kingsman film so much, so I was very excited for the sequel. It wasn't as good as the first film, of course, but it was so enjoyable and I laughed for the whole 2 hours 20 minutes.

MUSIC:

Too Good at Goodbyes // Sam Smith

I just love Sam Smith. That's about it, honestly. This song went straight on my 'Chill' playlist. It's really sad but I love it.

Alone // Jessie Ware

Jessie Ware is hugely underrated - I loved her first album so much (Say You Love Me and Champagne Kisses are such tunes) and this new single is just as good.

Praying // Kesha

I love Kesha. I know it's an odd thing to say but I'm so proud of her for getting through all she's had to deal with and releasing some incredible comeback music. If you don't know what she's been through, Google it so you can better appreciate her beautiful music and lyrics.

CLOTHES/MAKEUP:

Burt's Bees Strawberry Lip Balm

I don't know how I've never used this before but my goodness. It smells so good and my lips are actually a lot less chapped than usual.

~Autumnal~ Shirt

I love Autumn (or Fall if you're American) so so so so much. As soon as it's September, I'll whip out the jumpers and the dark colours and start wearing plaid 24/7. I recently bought this lovely shirt and I've been living in it for the past few weeks. It's so comfy.

Chokers

I've been incredibly reluctant to give into the choker trend, but I did and now I'm obsessed. They just make every outfit look a bit more put together, you know? Also the black velvet one has made many an outfit look a lot ~edgier~ than it actually is.

Ring

This beautiful ring was a birthday present from my brother's girlfriend, and it's become something I wear daily, along with the ring I was given for my 16th birthday. I just really like rings now, I don't know why. They make me feel fancy.

MISCELLANEOUS:

Macbook

I recently bought a new Macbook because my old one was on its last legs - before I had it, it had been my brother's for 6 years, so I was in need of a much faster, updated one that didn't run out of power after 2 minutes. My new one is so much lighter and faster, but mainly I love it because it has a touch-bar at the top which means I can turn up the volume or turn down the brightness or find emojis to type so much quicker than I used to. Also, it's just really cool to have a touch-bar. I feel like that's just something we can all accept.

Wireless Beats

When I bought my Macbook, there was a deal on for students (which I am) which meant my laptop was cheaper and I got some free wireless Beats headphones (what an amazing deal, right?!) Safe to say I am loving them - I use them all the time, and feel so cool when I wear them. Also, it is so much easier to paint while listening to music now, because I don't have wires dipping into my watercolours.

Planning Notebook

As you all know, I've been trying to be more organised with my blogging, so I bought this beautiful notebook for a few pounds and I've been using it to plan each of my blog posts as well as writing various to do lists. It's worked for this month, so hopefully I'll do as good a job for the month of October!

And that's everything! I hope you enjoyed this post - let me know if any of these things have been your favourite this month as well. I'll be back with a post on Friday letting you know all the things I have planned for October.

Soundtrack to my Life

I love music. That's just a well-known fact about me. If you know me at all, you'll know any chance I get, I'll have my headphones on and have some kind of music playing, whether it's a film score or one of my favourite albums or classical music. I love recommending and being recommended songs, and just generally talking about music, so when I discovered this tag, I had to do it. Below is the soundtrack to my life.

(I love music too much to be able to only give one answer for each question, so I've given two - although there are exceptions to that rule because some of the questions were too hard to narrow down)

What song do you listen to when you're happy?

Good Vibrations // The Beach Boys
Something Good Can Work // Two Door Cinema Club

I adore the Beach Boys - is there any other band that just sounds like summer? There are so many happy and upbeat songs of theirs to choose from but I think Good Vibrations is my absolute favourite. As for Something Good Can Work - Two Door Cinema Club are an amazing band, and this song is so fast that it's incredibly satisfying to sing along to when you can keep up with the chorus. Both of these songs just make me want to dance and laugh and go on a drive with the windows down and the sun shining on my face.

What song do you listen to when you're sad?

Liability // Lorde
Laughter Lines // Bastille

I listen to a lot of music when I'm sad (I have playlists for pretty much every mood, and my 'Sad Tunez' playlist is probably the one I listen to the most) so this was hard to narrow down, but I managed to pick two (mainly because I found ways to include the other sad songs later on in this tag). Liability is a recent addition, because Lorde's new album Melodrama (please listen to it, it's amazing) has only recently come out. I listen to it a lot because I relate to it a lot, and it's nice to feel understood. Laughter Lines, however, has been on my sad playlist for a long time - it's one of my favourite Bastille songs, just because of how poignant it is and how beautiful the lyrics are.

What song will you play at your wedding?

Only Us // Dear Evan Hansen
Falling Slowly // Once

Y'all, Dear Evan Hansen's soundtrack is so dreamy. I haven't seen it, but it's coming to London in a few years, so I'll just wait like I did for Hamilton and then I'll get tickets because I love the premise so much. Only Us is one of the most adorable and pure love songs I've ever heard, and it perfectly encompasses how I view love. The same goes for Falling Slowly - what a beautiful song, made even lovelier by the storyline of Once (although once you've seen Once and know the ending, it becomes exceptionally bittersweet). Also notice how both of these are from musicals. Huh.

(side-note: if you're going to listen to Falling Slowly, I suggest listening to the 'Live from Spotify London' version - you just can't beat a live version).

What song do you dance around the house to?

September // Earth, Wind & Fire
Footloose // Kenny Loggins


They're making me dance just thinking about them. September brings back memories of being home alone with my eldest brother who was making us both bacon sandwiches, and we put this song on and danced around the kitchen. It's a small moment in the grand scheme of things but it's stuck with me because that was a true moment of happiness for me. And then Footloose. I mean... who doesn't dance to Footloose whenever it comes on?

(What You Know // Two Door Cinema Club - I didn't put this as one of the main songs because I'd already mentioned Two Door Cinema Club, but it's definitely one I've had dance parties to so I thought I'd pop it here).

What song do you listen to in your headphones when you're out and about?

The Chain // Fleetwood Mac
My Generation // The Who

Two of my all time favourite songs anyway, but they both have such good beats to walk around to (you know when you're walking and walk in-time to the music you're listening to? They're great for that). I adore Fleetwood Mac and The Who, mainly because of my dad - I have a very eclectic taste in music because when I was younger, I'd listened to music my dad listened to in his teenage years, like The Who and Fleetwood Mac and Simon & Garfunkel, as well as pop music that my brothers were listening to, and now I pick up bands from my friends, so it's a big old mess of genres. I have a lot of friends who are big fans of Fleetwood Mac so my love of them as just grown, and if any of you like the film Kingsman and have seen the trailer for the second film, you will have heard a remix of My Generation (which is a great remix).

What song do you listen to when you're angry?

Black Skinhead // Kanye West
Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time // Panic! At The Disco

Ok, so this has taken literally everyone who has ever discovered it about me by surprise but I'm a lowkey rap fan. I can rap all of Nicki Minaj's part in Monster (also by Kanye West), the Childish Gambino is a baaabbeeeee (he's also playing Lando in the Han Solo prequel film, which I am insanely excited for), Logic is amazing, and Kanye West is incredible. Life of Pablo is an amazing album (Ultralight Beam is probably my favourite from that album) but if you're looking for angry songs, Yeezus is where it's at, and Black Skinhead gets me mad pumped. As for Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time, it's not exactly angry, but it has an incredible drum beat that's perfect for an angry music-listening session (especially at full volume).

What song would you have at your funeral?

If I Die Young // The Band Perry
Songbird // Fleetwood Mac

I put the original singers for both songs, but honestly (and don't judge me for this) I prefer the Glee covers of both, because Naya Rivera, who plays Santana, sings them and she has an incredible voice. I love the original versions also, but I'm just saying, the Glee versions are beautiful. I don't really know why I want these specific songs played at my funeral. If I Die Young is pretty obvious, but Songbird I'm unsure about - I can just imagine it being played? Both beautiful songs.

What is the last song you listened to?

The Night We Met // Lord Huron
Praying // Kesha

I gave the last two songs I've listened to so it would be consistent with my answers to the other questions. I'm guessing a lot of you watched or at least know of the TV show 13 Reasons Why, and The Night We Met is the iconic song from it - it's such a lovely song and gets me incredibly emotional every time I listen to it. And just before I listened to that, I was playing Praying by Kesha oh my goodness that song is beautiful. The lyrics are beautiful and the message is so incredible, especially when you know what Kesha's been through during the last few years (google it if you're not sure what went on). Also can we talk about her vocal range?! Because that high note she hits during the climax of the song is insane. I can't even begin to comprehend how she does it.

What song will make you lose your shit at a party?

Everybody (Backstreet's Back) // Backstreet Boys
Mr Brightside // The Killers

I don't think there is a song that so perfectly encapsulates the early 00s for me the way Mr Brightside does. I can and will sing/shout the entire song if it plays at a party, as will everyone else in the room (also who doesn't love a bit o' The Killers). Backstreet Boys were mainly my brother's influence - I was born after this song's release, but it was played often enough in my house for it to become associated with my childhood. Obviously there are many songs that I'll lose my shit over, like TiK ToK by Kesha (a true classic of the late 00s) and of course Cha Cha Slide by Mr. C because oh my goodness who doesn't slide to the left and take it back now y'all when this song comes on? It's basically universal law to dance when it comes on. A classic school disco tune.

What song would you love to see live?

Yellow // Coldplay
Pompeii // Bastille

It used to be A Team by Ed Sheeran but, as I mentioned last time, I'm going to be seeing him next year, so that's off the list now. The two bands I'd love to see live the most are Coldplay and Bastille, and the songs I'd be most ecstatic to hear would be the first songs I heard of theirs, which were Yellow and Pompeii. I just can't imagine actually hearing them live, I think I'd lose my mind.

What song would you do for karaoke?

Grace Kelly // MIKA
The Winner Takes It All // ABBA

I'm not a huge fan of karaoke but if I had to, I'd sing one of those two. I already know all the words to Grace Kelly, and The Winner Takes It All is such a good song to belt out.

What song do you work out to?

Sorry Not Sorry // Demi Lovato
Send Them Off! // Bastille

Sorry Not Sorry is such. a. jam. It gets me really hyped up, so it's perfect for when I go for a run, and the same goes for Send Them Off! because it just has a great beat to run to. I'm not a huge fan of exercise but these songs make it bearable.

What song has the most memories attached?

Home // Gabrielle Aplin
We Both Reached For The Gun // Chicago

Home perfectly encapsulates for me the years 2013-2014, as does that whole album (English Rain if you want to listen to the album). I saw Gabrielle Aplin live in November 2013 (just after I created this blog) with my best friend, my first live concert. 2013-2014 were the last years I was truly happy, honestly - year 10 (2015) is when the anxiety and stressed started, and I very much miss the carefree days I was living when I was listening to Home on repeat. Looking back, Home perfectly describes how those years felt to me. As for We Both Reached For The Gun - I first watched Chicago over the summer with Anna. I was staying with her for a week, while her parents were on holiday in the Lake District. This meant, once we'd watched Chicago (what a film and what a musical) on the first night, we could listen to the soundtrack over and over, while washing up, while making breakfast, at 2am. So the whole soundtrack reminds me of that amazing week with one of my best friends, but specifically We Both Reached For The Gun (because we can sing the whole thing in time, even the really fast bit - that's true talent).

What song makes you cry?

Secret For The Mad // Dodie
Somebody Else // The 1975

I don't cry at many songs, but there is a list of about 4 or 5 that have made me cry (Liability by Lorde, which I put up there ^ under 'sad song' is one of them, and the ones which I haven't listed will have a little * next to them when they appear below) but these two that consistently make me cry. Secret For The Mad makes me ugly cry because, same as Liability by Lorde, it's so nice to feel understood. And to have someone tell me (in a beautiful singing voice) that everything will be ok. Somebody Else isn't something I can relate to, but it's a song I've listened to many many nights before I go to sleep or when I can't sleep or when I'm already crying, so I now associate crying with it. Which means I cry at it. A lot. It's the song I cry at every time, without fail. And it's also an amazing song.

What is your guilty pleasure song?

Sweet Creature // Harry Styles
New Rules // Dua Lipa

Pretty much any pop music is a guilty pleasure (Little Mix, anyone?) but ~club~ music is probably my guiltiest pleasure. Half the time it makes no sense, the other half it's derogatory in some way, but there are some gems in amongst the rubbish - like New Rules, which is such a tune. Harry Styles isn't really a guilty pleasure, and certainly is as much of one as One Direction was, because his solo music is genuinely really good. But I still feel a bit guilty about loving him as much as I do.

What is your favourite song from a musical?

Someone In The Crowd // La La Land
Electricity // Billy Elliot

Who doesn't love La La Land? Like seriously? Does a person exist who doesn't love this beautiful film? It's easily one of my favoutite musicals (even if it isn't a theatrical musical) and the soundtrack is just beautiful, so obviously I was going to put a song from it on this playlist. Billy Elliot is also one of my favourite musicals (thank you, Anna, for introducing it to me - she introduces me to a lot of musicals) so that was going to feature.

(An additional one - Satisfied from Hamilton, specifically the mix tape version by Sia featuring Queen Latifah and Miguel. Such a good song)

What is one song that you hate?

Look What You Made Me Do // Taylor Swift
Despacito // Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee & Justin Bieber

Listen. Taylor Swift is #iconic. I love her. But I don't think I had ever experienced true disappointment before the verses and bridge in Look What You Made Me Do hyped me up and then I got that chorus. Biggest anticlimax of my life. I was waiting for this giant beat drop where everyone would lose their minds. And I got Too Sexy For My Shirt 2.0. As for Despacito, my goodness has there ever been a more overplayed song. I'm so done with both of these songs.

What is your favourite song of all time?

The Fall // Imagine Dragons*
Autopilot // Kodaline*
Dreams/Little Lies // Fleetwood Mac
Somebody Else // The 1975

The hardest question you could ever ask me (along with favourite book/film/TV show) but I managed to narrow it down to 5. All of these are songs I could listen to over and over and over and over and over. If you listen to no other songs from this post, please listen to these five. They are truly breathtaking, all of them.

Honourable Mentions:

Heartbeats // Jose Gonzalez
6/10 // Dodie*
Someone That Loves You // HONNE
No. 1 Party Anthem // Arctic Monkeys
Seaside/She Moves In Her Own Way // The Kooks
Power Hungry Animals // The Apache Relay
Alone // Trampled By Turtles

I am so sorry for the awfully long post. I could talk about music all day. I'll be back next week with a (hopefully shorter) monthly favourites post. Until then!

17 things I learnt at 17

It is official - I am 18 years old. I'm old. I'm an adult. I can vote. I can drink (sorry to all the Americans that can't relate to that one)

This is me this morning, in my brother's old US Office sweatshirt and PJs, crying and laughing at a photo album documenting my 18 years (featuring some of my lovely presents on the side - more on prezzies later!)

17 has been a long year, filled with a lot of misery and stress and anxiety, but a lot of good times as well. I am definitely wiser than I was this time a year ago. So I thought I'd write everything I've learnt down, in the form of advising my past self. I thought I'd impart my new-found wisdom on those younger than me, or see how similar my journey to adulthood has been to those the same age as me, or older.

Here are 17 things I've learnt at 17 - the big, small, insignificant, and life-changing.

1. Set multiple alarms in the morning
You will literally never get up after the first alarm, please stop lying to yourself. There's no shame in setting 6 alarms on your phone as well as using an actual alarm clock, and then having your mum as a back-up plan if everything goes wrong. You'll never be one of those people who get up early, go for a run and do some morning yoga before drinking a healthy smoothie and putting on an immaculate outfit. You're not a morning person, accept it.

2. Game of Thrones is incredible and you will regret putting off watching it for so long
It is brilliant and you will adore it. It will also lead to so much more in your life - more than you could have possibly imagined. You will talk to people about Game of Thrones whom you never would have spoken to before, you will become closer to people because of Game of Thrones, and you will forever be thankful for it (it's an odd thing to say, but it's true).

3. Go to the cinema every change you get
The cinema is a beautiful place to escape - films are amazing for shutting things out, and you tend to go with some pretty great people.

4. Sixth Form isn't as fun as you think it will be
You'll start Year 12 filled with anxiety but mainly excitement, and two days in you'll realise you can't find happiness in anything you do. It sucks, big time, but you'll get through it with the help of some wonderful teachers and amazing friends, and you'll come out of it ok. Starting Year 13 has meant more of the same feelings, but I'm sure you'll be just fine.

5. You can love water-colouring and calligraphy again
I know GCSE Art was borderline traumatic because of your teacher, but you'll learn to love art again, and will continue making cards and water-colouring gifts for your friends.

6. Man, you love your friends
You are friends with some of the best people in the world, and you'll come to fully understand this during your 17th year. They are incredible people and I'm not quite sure how you've found them, but keep them close.

7. Nutella and crunchy peanut butter on toast is a truly dreamy combination
The after-school snack game will never be the same.

8. Sometimes there are friends you need to lose
(This is a pretty recent lesson learnt) I know you love them deeply, but if it's a relationship based all on your love and there's no kind of reciprocation, it's better to have them out of your life and be able to focus on the friends who love you back. It hurts so badly and your heart will break a lot during this year, but you're so much better off without them.

9. Actually doing the work when it's set will change your life
You're still working on this one, but doing work the day it is set and as soon as you sit down at the kitchen table will mean more free time to read and watch Netflix, in the short and long term. It also allows for days when you're too ill or sad or tired to do any work. Take care of future you and do it asap.

10. Makeup and clothes are actually really fun
Buying and wearing nice clothes and doing your makeup fancy is really fun, but only do it when you're in the mood - don't grow so accustomed to your made-up self that you're too scared to show your real skin occasionally (I'm still working on that part - everything just looks so much better when it's covered in highlighter).

11. Don't give people your Netflix password
I mean it! You will regret letting so many of your friends use your Netflix when you just want to watch The Defenders but your Netflix is in use.

12.  Change is terrifying, but it's usually for the better
There are a few changes heading your way, and they're difficult to work through - questioning what to study at university and ultimately deciding against your life-long passion of English will send you into a bit of an anxiety spiral - but now you're happily embracing your adoration of History and researching courses and still loving English. You don't need to feel like you're cheating on English by enjoying History, and you don't need to be scared of change. Embrace it, babe.

13. Always be kind, even when pushed to breaking point
You'll have a fair few disagreements with people, but never respond maliciously or with a mean comment. Be kind and gracious and don't allow your pride to get in the way of ending an argument. Also, don't hold grudges if you can - some grudges need to be held, because some things can't be forgiven, but generally they are exhausting and pointless and it's not worth the effort.

14. That said, know when to stand up for yourself
There are some things that are a core part of your beliefs, and you need to let them be known. You wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community, you are a feminist, you are super duper liberal, and those are good things, and they are a big part of who you are. Own it and don't remain passive just to save a friendship. There will be relationships that become strained, but only momentarily - you learn to just avoid those topics, but it's so vital that you address the fact that you disagree with them.

15. What you feel is valid
You know your own brain better than anybody, and if you think you know what you need to be happier and feel better, then you ignore the doubting and the questioning. Also, talk to people about how you feel, because 9 times out of 10 they're not going to laugh at you, but they actually help and support you??!?!!! I know, it's a wild concept, but trust me on this one, not everyone is going to hurt you.

16. You can't hold the weight of the world on your shoulders
You are a deeply empathetic person, but you can't take on everyone's worries while keeping yours to yourself and not share any of the burden with other people, just hiding everything behind worried eyes and distant gazes. Again, you're still working on this one, but please keep trying to share things and let things go, because you are exhausted.

17. People generally aren't lying when they tell you they love
Trust that you are a lovable person, even though you can't see it.

And that, my friends, is that. I hope you enjoyed and maybe learnt some life lessons or just some new information about me and the kind of person I am! (spoiler alert: a very worried one)

I thought I'd mention some of my favourite birthday presents, because I got some pretty spectacular ones. I'm going to get a new phone at some point, but that's not that exciting. The most exciting ones are all experiences rather than objects (although I got some rather pretty jewellery, books and clothes). Firstly, my parents got me tickets for an exclusive La La Land screening where the film will be played along with a live orchestra who will play the score and songs over the top. I adore live music and orchestral pieces (and La La Land, of course) so I am very excited.

I then got *deep breath* tickets for Hamilton in London from my older brother and I have never been more excited. I adore History and musicals and Hamilton is INSANE (I've listened to the soundtrack so many times) so I am incredibly excited. I didn't think I could get anymore excited.

But then my best friend got me tickets for ED SHEERAN next summer.

SCREEEEAAAAAMMMMMMMSSSSSSS

So yeah. There's that.

I'm going to combust with the amount of excitement in my tiny body.

Honestly, the amount of adorable messages and love I have received today has overwhelmed me. Much love to all of you.

- B xx

a plan for september

The day after my last post was spent planning planning planning. I got out a notebook I use mainly for doodles and calligraphy practice and got to work sorting out a schedule and planning posts for all of September.

Here's the plan: I will be posting every Sunday, and will write an overview of what I'll be posting in the month to come on the Friday before the first Sunday of the month (that sentence is a bit of a mouthful). The overview post will be very similar to what I'm writing now - obviously I couldn't do it on the Friday before this Sunday because I had to write a quick 'hello I'm back' post and create this schedule.

I'm hoping writing out a plan for each month will help me stick to my schedule and mean my posts are more thought out and enjoyable. Obviously if there's something pressing I want to talk about (like the post I wrote about Carrie Fisher after she passed away) then I'll write that and use my scheduled post another time.

I'll also be posting a monthly favourites on the last Sunday of every month (which I attempted to start doing this time last year) just because I know I love reading about the books, films, TV shows and music people are enjoying at the moment, so I'm hoping you'll enjoy reading about my current favourites.

Now I've got all that scheduling talk out of the way, here's everything I've got planned for you this September:

SUNDAY 3RD SEPTEMBER: A Plan for September

This post. You're reading it right now. Hello. I just thought I'd include this Sunday so you've got an overview of the whole month.

SUNDAY 10TH SEPTEMBER: 17 Things I've Learnt at 17

The 10th is my 18th birthday (eek!) so I thought I'd write a post about the many life lessons I have learnt during my 17th year - big, small, insignificant, they have all changed my life in some way or another. I also might include a little note at the bottom letting you know all the exciting stuff I got for my birthday, as I know my family have got me some pretty big and amazing presents for me (they won't shut up about them!) and I can't wait to learn what they are.

SUNDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER: The Soundtrack to my Life

Music is a huge part of my life - I listen to it on the train into town, when I'm hanging out with my friends, on my way to school, while I'm revising (I'm listening to it right now - Seaside by The Kooks is playing at the moment). I've seen this tag done a lot on Youtube and I think it's a great idea. I'll be answering questions like "what song do you listen to when you're happy?" and "what is your guilty pleasure song?" and by the end of the post, I'll have a soundtrack for this part of my life. I'm just really excited to share some of my favourite music with you guys! I'll probably leave a link to my Spotify at the end so you guys can check out more of my playlists if you want.

SUNDAY 24TH SEPTEMBER: September Favourites

This will follow the same layout I used last time - I'll split my favourites into categories (books, films/tv shows, music, and miscellaneous) with around 3-4 favourites for each category, and I'll give you guys a bit of information about them and why I've been loving them this month. I am considering putting in a 5th category for fashion/makeup, so let me know in the comments if that's an addition you'd like.

I've planned each of these posts already (minus the favourites, because I don't know what I'm going to discover and love in September - I, unfortunately, cannot predict the future!) so they will definitely be coming to you on time - my logic is that I can't not stick to my schedule when everything is essentially written already. I'm also hoping to sort out my blog's design. As you can tell, it is currently ~under construction~ and I'm hoping to make everything beautiful and fit the image I have in my head by next month. I'm also hoping to have taken some photos that will match my posts' themes, as I'm currently just using pretty pictures I took this summer*.

I hope you're as excited as I am for this month's posts - I'm so happy to be blogging and writing again! Let me know down below which post you're most excited for (and whether or not you'd like to see a fashion and makeup category in my monthly favourites).

Thank you all for sticking with me through my many absences! Have a wonderful Sunday.

B x

*technically Anna took the above photo but sshh

well, look who it is...

oh dear.

It's been a long time, hasn't it?

So much has changed and I don't quite know where to begin. Maybe I should start by saying that I'm not going to apologise for being absent for so long, or promise to start posting regularly. I wish I was the kind of person who could stick to a schedule and is constantly in the mood to write and keep up with a blog, but that's not me I'm afraid. Life is hectic and this blog has been the last thing on my mind. It is, however, a lovely way for me to relax so I want to start writing regularly again. I'm going back to school on Wednesday, and I'll be timetabling my days to make sure I'm doing enough work but also leaving time for me to do stuff I completely neglected last year, like reading and writing, so I'll hopefully timetable in "write a blog post" and be able to keep a schedule - fingers crossed.

I'll be writing mainly the same stuff, with maybe a few film reviews, as I'll be writing those anyway for a new show I have on my school's radio (how fancy). I'd also like to include at least one photo in every post (as you can tell by the lovely beach photo above). The photos will ideally link with the post but there isn't really a theme to this one so I thought I'd chuck in a photo of a beach I went to with Anna (who I've talked about before). I really love photography and while I just use my phone so it's nothing special, I thought I'd include it in my blog as it's something I enjoy doing. Mostly my blog will just be me chatting about LiFe and stress and things I've been doing and reading, so it'll be more of the same - I've got a cheeky 'feminist book suggestions' post planned, as I've been reading a lot of books that empower women or address sexism and I'd love to share them with you guys, as they are brilliant.

I'm hoping I'll be more on top of school work this year, and just a bit more on top of life in general. I want to stick to timetables and allow time for me to relax, so I'm really hoping when I decide on a day for me to post weekly, I'll actually stick to it. I've got a lot of blog spring cleaning to do, so I will post next week with a plan, a posting schedule, and a run down of what's in store, for September at least.

Let's hope this is the beginning of something good.

Rest In Peace Carrie Fisher

To think just 2 weeks ago, it was the midnight premiere of Rogue One - I was yawning in my seat but grinning with excitement, crying from the emotion of it all, and gasping as she came onscreen, albeit a CGI version of herself. To think just 48 hours ago, it was Christmas Day - I was happy and re-watching The Force Awakens with my brothers, smiling as she came onscreen. To think just 2 hours ago, I was watching 8 Out of 10 Cats with her as a guest star.

Rest in peace, Carrie Fisher. Artist. Activist. Princess.

Star Wars has always been a huge part of my life, since I was a toddler forced to watch it by my older brothers, to a 17 year old whose frequent re-watches have become an escape from the apparent hell of A Levels.

For tiny Bethan, Princess Leia was the first strong, independent and courageous female leader she encountered. Before Hermione and Belle and Katniss, before I discovered Feminism and calling out sexism, before I understood how to form my own views and voice them, Princess Leia was my role model. She was involved in politics and fighting for good; she sacrificed herself for her friends and family; she could fight and shoot a gun and get herself out of tricky situations; she made Han Solo a better man; she had fabulous hair and sass I always aspired to have; and she stood up for what she believed in, no matter the cost. When Luke was whining about Obi Wan Kenobi's death (I mean, fair enough for the audience who knew and loved him, but mate, you've known him for all of 2 seconds, calm down), she quietly mourned the death of her entire planet - setting it aside while she fought for the greater good.

Princess Leia was everything I aspired to be as a child; she still is everything I aspire to be. Carrie Fisher was my childhood, my first role model, my inspiration.

Not only that, she was a brilliant human being. She helped countless people by being so outspoken on her mental health issues, and was an incredibly open and supportive celebrity - she told it how it was, she opened herself up to the criticisms of many in order to help those who needed it. She was witty and caring and loved by everyone. She was a game-changer in the movie industry with her frequent discussion of mental health and of the rampant sexism in Hollywood at the time the original Star Wars trilogy was made, and how she did her utmost to make Leia as unlike the over-sexualised and stereotypical female characters that were everywhere in Hollywood.

Twitter after her death was filled with tweets praising her, expressing their pain at her loss, their sadness that she was gone, and their anger at 2016 for taking her and so many other artists, creators and those who dared to be different.

I'm so angry at this world for taking her and so many others this year, but this one hurts the most. Because she gave me the foundations to become someone who was strong, outspoken, politically aware, feisty while still being kind and deeply good.

She gave tiny Bethan hope.

Rest in peace, you brilliant soul. You were and are the world's favourite princess.

Happy Anniversary

On this day, 3 years ago, I created what was then called The Teenager's Bookshelf. It was a simple blog, with one of Blogger's ready-made template designs, no real direction, and a writer with no idea what she was doing.

A swift change to Think. Read. Write. Dream. and a new blog design by someone who would soon become a good friend of mine (hi Rosie).

The beginning of Creative Thursday and the speedy realisation that I can't stick to a schedule.

A few months later and I now have two good friends (hello, Kenzie dear)

A few months after that and my content veers drastically from strictly book orientated to a big ol' mess of writing and speaking my thoughts and a dash of literature.

Fast-forward to now, Fiction and Tea, a new name, a new design (and a newer design on the way!), still the same old me and the same old content mish-mash.

It's been a fantastic 3 years. I've grown as a person; I've lost friends and made friends; I've forgotten and rediscovered my love of writing several times; I've gone through months of absence, blogged while revising for exams, written when I should have been doing homework. I've grown up with this blog, and I can't wait for another 3 years of writing and growing and loving art and literature and life through this blog.

Thank you to those of you who have been here since the beginning; thank you to those who joined me along the way; and thank you to those who've never stopped loving me and this blog and this journey. Just thank you to all of you.

x

A Letter To 11, 12, 13 Year Old Me

Dear 11, 12, 13 Year Old Me,

How are you, sweet, innocent, naive child? I hope you're happy. You should be - there's no reason for you to be upset.

I'm just going to put it out there, first and foremost - you're not going to receive your Hogwarts letter, and your life will never be as cool as Hermione's. I'm sorry, it's just the way things are.

As an older, wiser, and arguably more negative and cynical version of you, I can tell you a lot of things for certain:

High school sucks for the first week, but you make some incredible, fantastic, delightful friends who you will remain friends with for the next 6 years of your life, and I hope for longer than that. Appreciate them please and thank you - they're kind of your family.

High school sucks in general, but only from Year 10 onwards. So I know you think your forgotten Art homework is the worst thing to happen to you in your life ever but it's not and you get an A* at GCSE, so chill your beans and stop crying. There's plenty of time and reason for that later on. Enjoy lessons when you're not thinking about exams and coursework and grades. Enjoy learning for a little bit. And don't be ashamed of your friendly relationship with teachers. They appreciate it, they love you, and ultimately that will work in your favour when you're older and need good UCAS references (cheers for being a nerd, lil one, this is working out great for me!)

I know you say you're not cringey because you're a cute adorable nerd, but you can be both - they're not mutually exclusive. In 4 years time, you will look back and want to die at some of the things you said/did/wore, but ultimately that's still your own opinion. Don't listen to what other people think of you - only you, and Older You are allowed to judge you. Hypocritical, because I still judge myself, I still care what others think, and I'm still a nerd, but I don't think I'm quite as cringey as you.

Enjoy the years of utter freedom. Read all of the books and watch all of the TV shows and go to the cinema and write. You haven't started blogging yet, or are just about to, but please just write. Your time just disappears somehow, so appreciate it while it lasts.

Try to love yourself through the comments on your weight. Your ribs poke out, your elbows are pointy, your knees are boney. That's just how it is, and ultimately it doesn't matter because you're a kind and awesome person, and it definitely works out in your favour - now I can eat lots of biscuits with minimal exercise and still have a flat tummy. It'll be ok.

It gets better, I promise. This is, again, hypocritical, because I'm still self conscious, my self esteem is still lower than the floor, I still rely on the opinions of others to make me feel better far too much. But you learn to love some things - you're getting better. Your curly hair that you frantically brushed out and smoothed down to get rid of the frizz? Your curly frizz is now ideal for cute messy ponytails and adorable bouncy haircuts and I now have the affectionate nickname of poodle noodle. The eyebrows that you think look like fake moustaches stuck on your face are now your pride and joy, despite the fringe that covers them now - yeah, you read right. You get a fringe again, and it doesn't look too bad, if I do say so myself, now that you have straighteners.

That said, you still have issues with self esteem. But onwards and upwards, right?

You become more negative, your cynicism develops astoundingly quickly during Year 10, and your humour becomes drier, wittier, more sarcastic and infinitely funnier. Your stubbornness is an asset when you decide parties and drinking aren't for you, and your introversion both worsens and improves - you barely go out, but you get so much better at talking to people. I'm proud of you for that.

You've still never had a boyfriend, but that's fine. You go through a period of really wishing you had a boy to like you when you don't like yourself but, right around the time you uncover the term Feminist, you decide you like being single and, linking in with your swiftly developed cynicism, you understand that all high school relationships end sooner or later - either in high school or in divorce is how you so eloquently put it to a friend. Good one, you hilarious little cynic.

Appreciate your family please. Your mum is your best friend now, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Your dad makes you feel safe. Your brothers care so embarrassingly deeply about you. They're your friends first, brothers second, your confidants, your favourite people. They've got your back, and you've got theirs, you have inside jokes and nicknames and similar interests. You make them laugh and they do the same when the tears won't stop. Your family are your safety net, your support network, your home. Thank you for establishing that bond - I will be forever grateful for that.

I don't like myself much, but I've never not liked you. You are the happiest, purest, most self-assured version of us since we were a toddler. There are ways in which we've developed that I love, but there are things we've lost that I miss dearly. I miss our innocence, our pure joy, our free time and endless hours for sleep. I miss not understanding - well, not really understanding - what terrorism and mass shootings and bombings and world suffering was. I miss not seeing the hatred in this world, I miss not feeling this burden on my shoulders, I miss not suffocating from the pressure placed on me to do well in exams, in school, in life; placed on me by me. I miss feeling at peace, content, satisfied with where I am in life. I miss knowing that whatever I do, I am still a genuinely good and kind person, because that certainty that I am sweet and kind and likeable is gone now. I miss not feeling like I'm bitter and mean and a burden to be around, to have as a friend, to have as a daughter. I miss the lack of change, I miss having my most felt feeling being happiness instead of this grey emptiness, this numbness to life and all experiences, this constant clouding unhappiness that only seems to go away in the presence of a small number. I miss never having experienced a panic attack, never knowing what anxiety is, never feeling this constant sickness, lump, hole in your stomach.

You are an incredible human being. Keep being witty, sweet, generous, kind, adorable. Keep giving first and taking second. Be as selfless as you can, as caring as you can. You become an incredibly flawed character - I'm living with that right now. So just enjoy a life without pressure. Keep dreaming big, laughing loud, crying unashamed.

You do you, kid. I love you.

Older You x

Time Likes To Run Away From Me

Time has a rather unfortunate ability to keep going while I continue to drown under school work and pressure. Bit annoying, can't be helped - I'm ever so sorry.

Things that have happened since I last posted:

I turned 17 and that scares me a lot (that actually happened before my last post but I didn't mention, so I thought I'd pop it in here).

I've started to learn how to drive and it is just as terrifying as I imagined, but I'm keeping a lid on the panic and AAAHHHH so that I don't do something stupid like crash or just never drive.

A Levels have started to suffocate me and I'm not entirely sure how to stop them.

I've made new friends! I had no intention of making new friends when I started sixth form, but I don't think anybody ever decides they're going to make friends. They are exceptionally lovely and hilarious and nerdy and I have already given my heart over to them completely.

Speaking of friends, I saw Anna again (link to her blog is here, link to her instagram is here). I met up with her in Bath, along with her friend Emily who is wonderful, and we went to see Sarah J Maas at the Bath Kids Literature Festival. I had a great time and I miss her a lot a lot a lot a lot.

This was just before we saw Sarah J Maas. Can you see the pure joy in my face?

(left to right) Me, Anna, Emily all looking suitably smiley.

This is us conquering Bath. Obviously.

I haven't been ill, which is incredible because I have an infamously poor immune system and my friends have been ill 3+ times. I honestly have no idea how I've done it, but I'm very proud of my body for not giving in to the colds floating about - A Levels are tough, I really can't afford to miss school because I'm a tad sniffly.

I cut my hair shorter, dealt with triangle hair for a week and then I loved it. And now it's grown again, so it's more of a lob than a bob. I also toyed with the idea of growing out my fringe, but decided against it - A Levels have meant many late nights, which means I wake up later and groggier than usual, which means little to no time spent on my appearance minus a splodge of concealer and a dab of powder, which means ponytails every day. And nothing makes a ponytail look more deliberate and cute than a fringe. (shoutout to past Bethan for getting a fringe; you've saved me from continuous bad hair days these past 7 weeks)

Things keep happening and time keeps running away from me like an idiotic 4 year old that doesn't understand that the last time I said ok stop it now I was being serious. It keeps running and I'm too tired to make an effort and it's too busy laughing at me getting frustrated and annoyed that it doesn't see the rock before it's grazed its knee and is crying and blaming me for not stopping it.

A lot has been and gone since I last posted. I'm sorry it's been so long - it's never a deliberate absence, I promise. Time is an annoying thing.

August Favourites

I decided to try a new thing today - I've done it once or twice before, but never continuously. I thought starting a monthly favourites would force me to blog at least once a month, and also (hopefully) force me into a blogging routine. So, here are my August favourites. (I know it's a bit late, but better late than never)

FILMS/TV

Stranger Things // I've just finished this Netflix original series and oh boy! I'm not great with scary things, but the jump scares and general creepiness is worth it for the characters, the storyline, and the incredible acting. I would definitely recommend to any fans of sci-fi or supernatural plots.

plot: On November 6 1983 in the town of Hawkins, Indiana, 12 year old Will Byers vanishes mysteriously. Will's frantic mother, Joyce, searches for him while Police Chief Jim Hopper launches his own investigation. Will's friends Dustin, Mike, and Lucas discover a psychokinetic girl who claims to know Will's location. As they uncover the truth, a sinister government agency tries to cover it up, while a more insidious force lurks below the surface. (cool, right?)

Gilmore Girls // I know this is a very old and loved show, but I've only recently started it with my mum. It's just been added to Netflix, so that's my excuse! It's such a lovely, happy show, and I love binge-watching it with my mum.

plot: The show follows single mother Lorelai and her daughter, Rory, who live in Stars Hollow and deal with the stresses of work, school, relationships, and life.

I haven't really watched any great films recently, so hopefully I'll have more in this section for my September Favourites.

BOOKS

The Shatter Me Trilogy // I read Shatter Me a couple of years ago, but had to put the sequel, Unravel Me, down when I was revising for mocks and I never went back to it. But this summer, I made it my aim to read this trilogy (and a few other books, obviously!) and I finished it when in France. It was so. good. Juliette's character development is absolutely incredible, and Tahereh Mafi's writing is stunning. The first book, Shatter Me, was annoying and average at best, but once Juliette began to realise that the world was so much worse than her romantic drama, it swiftly became a phenomenal story about accepting yourself as a monster, rather than denying it. Just... breathtaking. Definitely, 100% recommend to anyone that likes YA, dystopian, superhero-esque plots, and a lot of romance.

plot: Juliette hasn't touched anyone in exactly 264 days. The last time she did, it was an accident, but The Reestablishment locked her up for murder. No one knows why Juliette's touch is fatal. As long as she doesn't hurt anyone else, no one really cares. The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17 year old girl. Diseases are destroying the population, food is hard to find, birds don't fly anyone, and the clouds are the wrong colour.
The Reestablishment said their way was the only way to fix things, so they threw Juliette in a cell. Now, so many people are dead that the survivors are whispering war - and The Reestablishment has changed its mind. Maybe Juliette is more than a tortured soul stuffed into a poisonous body. Maybe she's exactly what they need right now.

Animal Farm // George Orwell is an utter genius and this book must be read by everyone that has ever and will ever exist. That's all I have to say.

plot: The animals of the Manor Farm lived badly because their farmer Mr Jones, a mean and always drunk man, exploited them. One day Old Major, the old pig who is the animals' leader, calls a meeting with all of the animals, and tells them about a dream he had had the previous night about a farm run by the animals, for the animals.


MUSIC

Good Grief / Fake It / Send Them Off! - Bastille // I adore Bastille, and always have, and their three new singles are absolutely incredible. I'm listening to them on repeat as I write this. They're songs that you can't help singing along and doing a weird little dance to. Also, Dan Smith is a gift to this world. They're on Spotify, which is what I use for my music - unlimited free music? What is not to love? - but I'm sure you could find them on iTunes or Youtube.

Someone That Loves You / Treat You Right - HONNE // HONNE is a very recent discovery for me - their album Warm on a Cold Night is absolutely amazing, but Someone That Loves You and Treat You Right are my favourite songs from it, and maybe just favourite songs of mine, full stop. They're an incredible band, and I'm lucky enough to be going to see them in October. Definitely give them a listen, and start with these songs!

MISCELLANEOUS

My Macbook // My brother just bought a new Macbook, so I automatically got his old one - and I am loving it. It's so fast, I can message people without having to get up, walk upstairs, and grab my phone. I can write to do lists and have it pop up on my phone, I can access my camera roll on my laptop, and all of my important dates are synced up. It is so wonderful, and I am so glad I have it ready for the beginning of Sixth Form - I will need a good laptop for A Levels!

Paper Comets // I've already written a post on Paper Comets - find that post here and the actual zine here or here - but I had to include it in my favourites, because it has been a favourite of mine. I was absent from the blogging community for so long, so to be asked to take part in something as wonderful as this made me feel part of the family again - not forgotten, not left behind, still relevant and still loved. I've chatted with so many amazing bloggers - some already friends of mine, some new to me but close friends now. This experience has been the best thing about August, and I can't thank these wonderful girls enough. All of their blog links are in my previous post, so please check them out.

I really hope you enjoyed this post! Let me know if a monthly favourites post is something you'd like to see!

exciting news!

A short post today to make a very exciting announcement!

I, along with some other bloggers (I will put all of their links down below because they are all fantastic), am part of a new online magazine called Paper Comets, and it is launching tomorrow!

(this is the cover - isn't it beautiful?!)

Paper Comets is a part of the Freckled Minds family (the website for it is here) and was organised by the incredible Morning from Ups and Downs (link here). It's a collection of written pieces, - short stories and poems - pieces of art, photography, and a lot of creative chaos.

Everyone involved has spent so much time helping to put this together - I hand-lettered the logo, we all worked so incredibly hard on our pieces, so many of us sent in photos for the Freckled Minds Instagram (@freckled.minds), people have worked tirelessly to code and design the websites, and organising this whole thing has taken nearly the whole summer.

Huge, huge thanks are due to Morning for working so hard to make this possible - battling against varying time zones, the endless activities, responsibilities, school and work commitments that come with a group of bloggers bubbling with creativity, and the stress of organising so many people around a deadline.

I am so, so excited for this. School and exams and work have taken up so much of my time, and consequently, I haven't written - properly sat down and written - in too long. This was such a wonderful excuse, and such a wonderful push for my to open up a blank document and type away, to write and read and edit and rewrite and reread and edit some more. To write something and be proud of the outcome and the cause.

Morning will be posting Paper Comets on both the Freckled Minds blog and her own, so I'll leave the links down below and you just sit tight and stay tuned, because it's going to be amazing. I'm so glad to be a part of this.

Freckled Minds

Morning - Ups and Downs

Mackenzie - think. eat. write. read.

Rose - Self Known

Grace - Totally Graced

Hannah - Grace in Everything

Anna - Demigods and Unicorns

Ava - Quiet Land

Abbie - Abbiee

Rachel - Silver Mess

Autumn - Autumn's Readings & Writings

Sophia - The Teentrepreneur

UPDATE: It's here!!! Click the link to Morning's blog or to the Freckled Minds blog to see the first edition of Paper Comets. Eeep!

trying to be organised

I feel like I always write apology posts, but I am very sorry for not posting in so long. I sat down at my laptop and stared at a blank post on Blogger so many times over the summer, and each time I closed the window, shut my laptop, and grabbed my book or popped Netflix on on the telly.

I don't know what's happened to me - I had the desire to write, I had the time to write, I constantly have words spinning through my mind. But as soon as I put pen to paper - or, finger to keyboard in this scenario - I dried up. My tongue wrapped around itself in it's hurry to curl up and hide, the words in my brain screamed and died in my mouth, the ink on my hands disappeared back into my veins, and I was empty of words and thoughts and ideas.

And now that I'm forcing myself to write, to just write write write and ignore what I'm writing until the end when I go back and actually read the words, forcing myself to zone out and just type, oblivious of the thoughts I'm voicing... now that I'm doing that, time is up.

I had the whole summer to get back into the swing of writing, to post regularly, to chat with my dear blogging friends, to become a part of the community again, and I didn't.

And now there's a week left and then it's A Levels - aka, the year of The Hardest Work Ever In The History Of Time (an exaggeration, but it gets my point across) - and it will be so so so so much harder to fit blogging in to my schedule of work and extracurricular and my job. But but but

I will try!

I will try my hardest, and you'll have to just bare with me as I struggle through school and work and finding time to do the things I love. I'm in the mood for writing at this point in time, so I'm going to plan ahead and write a few posts now so that I can post them in the future when I'm too busy to write.

Apart from that attempt at organisation, I'm just going to try my best to post here regularly, and to become more involved in the blogging community.

I hope you've all had a wonderful summer! x

I'm Free

I have finally, finally, finally finished my GCSEs. I have finished the 6 week period of non-stop exams, and the countless months before-hand spent revising and neglecting the things I love most - reading, watching Netlfix, sleeping in, doing nothing. I have shoved aside the sleepy, zombie fog of exam-mode that had settled over my brain, the non-stop revision schedule, the fear of exams and the sleepless nights where anxiety woke me. The past papers are gone, the countless notes and flashcards recycled, the cramp in my right hand and the seemingly permanent ink splotch on my right index finger have vanished, and I am free.

The summer has begun, albeit a very rainy beginning, and there are lists and lists and lists of things I have wanted to do for months and now can. I can finally read without noting down quotes for themes, paint without an eye on my coursework deadline, sleep without setting an alarm for 7am, watch TV without making sure I'm not wasting revision time. I can be free, finally. The burden of exams has been lifted from my whole body and soul, and now all that's left is a lingering fear of results day. But that is months away, and for now, I can forget it.

Suddenly, I can go shopping with my best friend and not have to cancel because I'm stressing out about my history exam. I can read every book on my TBR list. I can blog every week, I can sit outside and feel the breeze on my face, I can cuddle my dog, I can lie on the floor for 20 minutes just staring at the clouds moving outside my window. I can stay up late watching Netflix, and glance outside at the stars just before I sleep. I can do whatever I want, and do so with the knowledge that I deserve it.

I have had no life for months, I have gone without for months, I have cried and stressed, I haven't slept, I have berated myself, I have forced myself to work more, to work harder, to work for longer.

And now, I can have my summer. My long, carefree summer.

(so that was basically a really long-winded way of saying I'm going to be posting more, more regularly now that my exams are done!)

28.05.16

On May 22nd (ish) 2015, I sent a direct message on Instagram to @annasbookish, a book account I really liked. I knew Anna was around my age, I knew she loved Dylan O'Brien, and I knew she was an avid reader. She seemed cool, and nice, and funny, so I messaged her saying hi. She replied.

Fast forward a year (and a week) and Anna is running across the muddy entrance of the Hay Festival in a Jurassic Park t-shirt, running towards me, before I am squishing her against me in a bear hug fueled by a year of friendship and waiting.

She is no longer @annasbookish, the book account I like. She is Anna Caffyn, 17 years old, lover of Star Wars (my influence, obviously), intense Billy Elliot fan, and one of my best friends. She is kind and hilarious and amazing and too much like me for my first DM to have ever resulted in just an internet friendship.

She is not just an Instagram account. A year later, she is a real person, putting me on her Snapchat story, stealing my phone to take terrible photos, slapping my arm when I constantly bring up that I'm taller than her. I can hug her and randomly boop her nose and play with her hair.

We spent the day together. We shared a pastry and drank tea on a comfy leather sofa while exchanging presents. We immediately added a billion photos to our Snapchat story, despite the rubbish festival wifi (the use of Snapchat filters was endless). We wandered around the festival, we bought books, we sat underneath a tree and took selfies. We hummed songs and brought up inside jokes frequently, as well as making new ones (two flat whites, anyone?) We laughed and hugged and took photos and loved every second together. We had a day of just us, surrounded by books and sun and tea.

And then it was over. We were saying goodbye and hugging one last time. I was too happy to fully grasp that I wouldn't be seeing her again until July, but when I got home, I suddenly wished I'd hugged her more, booped her nose one more time, played with her hair endlessly. I wanted to sprint to England and bang on her door until she opened it so I could see her, actually see her just one more time. I wanted her to give me all of her friends' numbers so I could text them and tell them to never take knowing her for granted, to never get used to being able to hug her on a daily basis. I wanted to make sure they knew how incredibly lucky they are to have my best friend around them, all the time, someone they see at school and outside school and on the weekends.

I miss her every day, because now that we've met, it's not enough to just text and Snapchat and Skype. Now that I've experienced what it's like to hug her, I never want to let go.

I'll see her again, and soon. My exams finish on 21st June (my excuse for my absence - I am very sorry for being very on-and-off with my posting) and then I have a looonngggg summer, and a train that travels directly from my town centre to hers. We're seeing Billy Elliot together at the theatre near me on 9th July; I'm going to stay with her in the summer; she's hopefully coming down for a second time. We have 10 weeks and no reasons for not seeing each other as much as we want.

I also met Patrick Ness at Hay - one of my favourite authors - he wrote A Monster Calls, one of my favourite books.

He was lovely, and hilarious (and I am now so excited for the A Monster Calls film), and it was amazing to meet him but somehow, he was a minor part in my visit to Hay. Usually, I usually come to Hay to meet an author, and I'm excited about the festival because of who I'm meeting - Cassandra Clare or Sarah J Maas, or another of my favourite authors. But this year, Patrick Ness was not my source of happiness (though he did make my day even more spectacular). Probably because when I met him, I was already with the person I'd come to Hay to see.

In short - 28th May 2016 was one of the best days of my life.

(Please give Anna a follow on Instagram - @annasbookish - or follow her blog here)

I am afraid

I am afraid of many things. When I was younger, it was the dark that hid the monsters, the things that go bump in the night, and bugs. I'm still afraid of bugs, and I'm still not a fan of the dark, but that's mainly because it means I'm alone with my thoughts, and my thoughts are what scare me most.

As I grew older, I became scared of losing my loved ones, being completely alone forever; my own imagination scared me more than anything.

I've also realised that what I'm scared of falls into three categories:

- My imagination, and every horrifying daydream it sends my way

- Nouns (not the actual words, the objects that the word "noun" encompasses)

- Verbs (again, not the words that are classed as nouns, but the actions described as verbs)

My imagination is something I can't help, so I try not to read too much into those fears, as they are usually irrational and not worth thinking about. I am afraid of nouns because I've seen them, and they scare me - bugs is the prime example here.

But I'm afraid of verbs because I've never experienced the verb itself. I'm scared of flying because I've never been on a plane before. I'm scared of failing in school because I've never failed before. I'm scared of being alone because I've never been completely, totally, utterly alone - don't get me wrong, I'm an introvert to the core, and my alone time is precious to me, but to have no support system at all is terrifying.

The list goes on.

I've realised that I am afraid of a lot of things, and for a lot of them, the only cure is to experience them. To go through life and instead of feel like I'm facing fears, just do something, and once it's over, acknowledge in the back of my mind that I'm no longer afraid of that verb.

Because in life, the only thing being afraid does is hold you back. So really, the only thing to fear is fear itself (ta, FDR, for the great line), because fearing things is what can lead to an unfulfilled life. If you guard yourself from every new experience because it's new (and so scares you), you're not really living.

So be afraid of fear, and any bugs that you may encounter (because those things are evil), but try not to let the verbs get you down. Try not to let them stop you from experiencing things.

Try not to let them stop you from living.