I am afraid

I am afraid of many things. When I was younger, it was the dark that hid the monsters, the things that go bump in the night, and bugs. I'm still afraid of bugs, and I'm still not a fan of the dark, but that's mainly because it means I'm alone with my thoughts, and my thoughts are what scare me most.

As I grew older, I became scared of losing my loved ones, being completely alone forever; my own imagination scared me more than anything.

I've also realised that what I'm scared of falls into three categories:

- My imagination, and every horrifying daydream it sends my way

- Nouns (not the actual words, the objects that the word "noun" encompasses)

- Verbs (again, not the words that are classed as nouns, but the actions described as verbs)

My imagination is something I can't help, so I try not to read too much into those fears, as they are usually irrational and not worth thinking about. I am afraid of nouns because I've seen them, and they scare me - bugs is the prime example here.

But I'm afraid of verbs because I've never experienced the verb itself. I'm scared of flying because I've never been on a plane before. I'm scared of failing in school because I've never failed before. I'm scared of being alone because I've never been completely, totally, utterly alone - don't get me wrong, I'm an introvert to the core, and my alone time is precious to me, but to have no support system at all is terrifying.

The list goes on.

I've realised that I am afraid of a lot of things, and for a lot of them, the only cure is to experience them. To go through life and instead of feel like I'm facing fears, just do something, and once it's over, acknowledge in the back of my mind that I'm no longer afraid of that verb.

Because in life, the only thing being afraid does is hold you back. So really, the only thing to fear is fear itself (ta, FDR, for the great line), because fearing things is what can lead to an unfulfilled life. If you guard yourself from every new experience because it's new (and so scares you), you're not really living.

So be afraid of fear, and any bugs that you may encounter (because those things are evil), but try not to let the verbs get you down. Try not to let them stop you from experiencing things.

Try not to let them stop you from living.