exciting news!

A short post today to make a very exciting announcement!

I, along with some other bloggers (I will put all of their links down below because they are all fantastic), am part of a new online magazine called Paper Comets, and it is launching tomorrow!

(this is the cover - isn't it beautiful?!)

Paper Comets is a part of the Freckled Minds family (the website for it is here) and was organised by the incredible Morning from Ups and Downs (link here). It's a collection of written pieces, - short stories and poems - pieces of art, photography, and a lot of creative chaos.

Everyone involved has spent so much time helping to put this together - I hand-lettered the logo, we all worked so incredibly hard on our pieces, so many of us sent in photos for the Freckled Minds Instagram (@freckled.minds), people have worked tirelessly to code and design the websites, and organising this whole thing has taken nearly the whole summer.

Huge, huge thanks are due to Morning for working so hard to make this possible - battling against varying time zones, the endless activities, responsibilities, school and work commitments that come with a group of bloggers bubbling with creativity, and the stress of organising so many people around a deadline.

I am so, so excited for this. School and exams and work have taken up so much of my time, and consequently, I haven't written - properly sat down and written - in too long. This was such a wonderful excuse, and such a wonderful push for my to open up a blank document and type away, to write and read and edit and rewrite and reread and edit some more. To write something and be proud of the outcome and the cause.

Morning will be posting Paper Comets on both the Freckled Minds blog and her own, so I'll leave the links down below and you just sit tight and stay tuned, because it's going to be amazing. I'm so glad to be a part of this.

Freckled Minds

Morning - Ups and Downs

Mackenzie - think. eat. write. read.

Rose - Self Known

Grace - Totally Graced

Hannah - Grace in Everything

Anna - Demigods and Unicorns

Ava - Quiet Land

Abbie - Abbiee

Rachel - Silver Mess

Autumn - Autumn's Readings & Writings

Sophia - The Teentrepreneur

UPDATE: It's here!!! Click the link to Morning's blog or to the Freckled Minds blog to see the first edition of Paper Comets. Eeep!

trying to be organised

I feel like I always write apology posts, but I am very sorry for not posting in so long. I sat down at my laptop and stared at a blank post on Blogger so many times over the summer, and each time I closed the window, shut my laptop, and grabbed my book or popped Netflix on on the telly.

I don't know what's happened to me - I had the desire to write, I had the time to write, I constantly have words spinning through my mind. But as soon as I put pen to paper - or, finger to keyboard in this scenario - I dried up. My tongue wrapped around itself in it's hurry to curl up and hide, the words in my brain screamed and died in my mouth, the ink on my hands disappeared back into my veins, and I was empty of words and thoughts and ideas.

And now that I'm forcing myself to write, to just write write write and ignore what I'm writing until the end when I go back and actually read the words, forcing myself to zone out and just type, oblivious of the thoughts I'm voicing... now that I'm doing that, time is up.

I had the whole summer to get back into the swing of writing, to post regularly, to chat with my dear blogging friends, to become a part of the community again, and I didn't.

And now there's a week left and then it's A Levels - aka, the year of The Hardest Work Ever In The History Of Time (an exaggeration, but it gets my point across) - and it will be so so so so much harder to fit blogging in to my schedule of work and extracurricular and my job. But but but

I will try!

I will try my hardest, and you'll have to just bare with me as I struggle through school and work and finding time to do the things I love. I'm in the mood for writing at this point in time, so I'm going to plan ahead and write a few posts now so that I can post them in the future when I'm too busy to write.

Apart from that attempt at organisation, I'm just going to try my best to post here regularly, and to become more involved in the blogging community.

I hope you've all had a wonderful summer! x

I'm Free

I have finally, finally, finally finished my GCSEs. I have finished the 6 week period of non-stop exams, and the countless months before-hand spent revising and neglecting the things I love most - reading, watching Netlfix, sleeping in, doing nothing. I have shoved aside the sleepy, zombie fog of exam-mode that had settled over my brain, the non-stop revision schedule, the fear of exams and the sleepless nights where anxiety woke me. The past papers are gone, the countless notes and flashcards recycled, the cramp in my right hand and the seemingly permanent ink splotch on my right index finger have vanished, and I am free.

The summer has begun, albeit a very rainy beginning, and there are lists and lists and lists of things I have wanted to do for months and now can. I can finally read without noting down quotes for themes, paint without an eye on my coursework deadline, sleep without setting an alarm for 7am, watch TV without making sure I'm not wasting revision time. I can be free, finally. The burden of exams has been lifted from my whole body and soul, and now all that's left is a lingering fear of results day. But that is months away, and for now, I can forget it.

Suddenly, I can go shopping with my best friend and not have to cancel because I'm stressing out about my history exam. I can read every book on my TBR list. I can blog every week, I can sit outside and feel the breeze on my face, I can cuddle my dog, I can lie on the floor for 20 minutes just staring at the clouds moving outside my window. I can stay up late watching Netflix, and glance outside at the stars just before I sleep. I can do whatever I want, and do so with the knowledge that I deserve it.

I have had no life for months, I have gone without for months, I have cried and stressed, I haven't slept, I have berated myself, I have forced myself to work more, to work harder, to work for longer.

And now, I can have my summer. My long, carefree summer.

(so that was basically a really long-winded way of saying I'm going to be posting more, more regularly now that my exams are done!)

28.05.16

On May 22nd (ish) 2015, I sent a direct message on Instagram to @annasbookish, a book account I really liked. I knew Anna was around my age, I knew she loved Dylan O'Brien, and I knew she was an avid reader. She seemed cool, and nice, and funny, so I messaged her saying hi. She replied.

Fast forward a year (and a week) and Anna is running across the muddy entrance of the Hay Festival in a Jurassic Park t-shirt, running towards me, before I am squishing her against me in a bear hug fueled by a year of friendship and waiting.

She is no longer @annasbookish, the book account I like. She is Anna Caffyn, 17 years old, lover of Star Wars (my influence, obviously), intense Billy Elliot fan, and one of my best friends. She is kind and hilarious and amazing and too much like me for my first DM to have ever resulted in just an internet friendship.

She is not just an Instagram account. A year later, she is a real person, putting me on her Snapchat story, stealing my phone to take terrible photos, slapping my arm when I constantly bring up that I'm taller than her. I can hug her and randomly boop her nose and play with her hair.

We spent the day together. We shared a pastry and drank tea on a comfy leather sofa while exchanging presents. We immediately added a billion photos to our Snapchat story, despite the rubbish festival wifi (the use of Snapchat filters was endless). We wandered around the festival, we bought books, we sat underneath a tree and took selfies. We hummed songs and brought up inside jokes frequently, as well as making new ones (two flat whites, anyone?) We laughed and hugged and took photos and loved every second together. We had a day of just us, surrounded by books and sun and tea.

And then it was over. We were saying goodbye and hugging one last time. I was too happy to fully grasp that I wouldn't be seeing her again until July, but when I got home, I suddenly wished I'd hugged her more, booped her nose one more time, played with her hair endlessly. I wanted to sprint to England and bang on her door until she opened it so I could see her, actually see her just one more time. I wanted her to give me all of her friends' numbers so I could text them and tell them to never take knowing her for granted, to never get used to being able to hug her on a daily basis. I wanted to make sure they knew how incredibly lucky they are to have my best friend around them, all the time, someone they see at school and outside school and on the weekends.

I miss her every day, because now that we've met, it's not enough to just text and Snapchat and Skype. Now that I've experienced what it's like to hug her, I never want to let go.

I'll see her again, and soon. My exams finish on 21st June (my excuse for my absence - I am very sorry for being very on-and-off with my posting) and then I have a looonngggg summer, and a train that travels directly from my town centre to hers. We're seeing Billy Elliot together at the theatre near me on 9th July; I'm going to stay with her in the summer; she's hopefully coming down for a second time. We have 10 weeks and no reasons for not seeing each other as much as we want.

I also met Patrick Ness at Hay - one of my favourite authors - he wrote A Monster Calls, one of my favourite books.

He was lovely, and hilarious (and I am now so excited for the A Monster Calls film), and it was amazing to meet him but somehow, he was a minor part in my visit to Hay. Usually, I usually come to Hay to meet an author, and I'm excited about the festival because of who I'm meeting - Cassandra Clare or Sarah J Maas, or another of my favourite authors. But this year, Patrick Ness was not my source of happiness (though he did make my day even more spectacular). Probably because when I met him, I was already with the person I'd come to Hay to see.

In short - 28th May 2016 was one of the best days of my life.

(Please give Anna a follow on Instagram - @annasbookish - or follow her blog here)