rip Harper Lee

Before I start, I'd just like to say: I hope you all like my new(ish) design. I haven't changed the actual design, or the layout, but I created a new header - I'm so in love with the cursive font - and I've added photos to my About and Contact page. Have a browse, if you want. :)

As some of you may have heard, Harper Lee died yesterday (19th February), at the age of 89. I studied To Kill A Mockingbird last year for the first 50% of my English Literature GCSE, but honestly, it didn't feel like work.

To Kill A Mockingbird is definitely one of my favourite books, and I think it always will be. It's one of those timeless books that was read when it was first published, is read now, and will be read in 50 years time.

It's a book that promotes equality and pure goodness, and Atticus Finch, while fictional, is one of the best role models for anybody. As is Harper Lee - as one of the most famous authors in history, you would expect her to have become egotistical, big-headed, and a lover of the spotlight. Quite the opposite is true - she was rarely seen in the media, and never let the fame and praise on an entire planet go to her head.

She will be missed greatly by all.

RIP Harper Lee.

(Sorry for the short post - I'll write something a bit longer next, but I felt I said all that needed to be said about this tragic passing. Thanks for reading x)

reintroducing myself

After posting yesterday, I decided to tidy up my blog by finally writing my About and Contact pages. Writing my About page made me realise how much I've changed since I started this blog in 2013.

So I thought I'd reintroduce myself, with some this or that questions. If you want to know more about my personal interests, check out my About page - this post is just going to be quick answers to random questions I thought of or found online.

Cats or Dogs?

I am definitely a dog person! I have a golden retriever called Ruby. I think cats are cute, but definitely dogs!

Tea or Coffee?

Tea!!!!!

Instagram or Twitter?

I love both, and use them regularly, but I think Instagram just because of the friends I've made through my book account, and the fun I have taking and posting photos.

Star Wars or Star Trek?

Pfffttt, Star Wars obviously! Have any of you seen The Force Awakens yet? I've seen it four times, and I cry every time. I've also just finished a Star Wars re-watch marathon. It's one of my favourite franchises.

Kindle or Books?

I was given a kindle for a Christmas present a few years ago - I bought 5 books on it, and then bought all of those books in physical form. Soon after, I gave my kindle to my mum. I just missed the feel of the pages and the smell of a new book.

Team Cap or Team Tony?

Is anybody actually Team Tony? Captain America is clearly on the right side. I'm so excited for Civil War to come out.

Early bird or Night owl?

Night owl - I like my sleep too much to get up early and I always end up scrolling through Instagram until midnight.

Sweets or Chocolate?

I do love sweets, but definitely chocolate. I get tired of sweets really quickly, but I never tire of chocolate.

Marvel or DC Comics?

Marvel. I love Batman - especially the Christopher Nolan trilogy - but Marvel have too many amazing characters, films and TV shows to not be my favourite. Have any of you seen Daredevil or Jessica Jones on Netflix? Or Agent Carter? They're some of my favourite TV shows - I can't wait for the second series of Daredevil and JJ. I've just started watching the second series of Agent Carter, as it's only just airing in the UK.

Sun or Rain?

I love the sun, but I find rain so calming. I love being in bed and listening to a storm outside, or being outside and splashing in puddles. Sunny weather is lovely, and I'd hate it to rain all the time, but it does rain the majority of the time in Wales, so I have to see the positives of it!

Maths or English?

English! I'd love to do English and French at university. Languages fascinate me, but it's definitely the literature aspect of English that makes it my favourite. I think primary school-me would be shocked to hear that I enjoyed Maths during my GCSE years, and that I got an A* in my November exam. I've now dropped Maths, despite my enjoyment of it, to give myself frees where I can focus on my other subjects. So, English.

Summer or Winter?

I think Winter. I prefer being cold than hot. I love snuggling up in blankets and wearing layers and layers of woolly jumpers and thick socks.

Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?

I loved the LotR films as a child - Legolas my toddler-self's dream man (still is, to be honest) - but Harry Potter is and always will be one of my favourite book series. I'm so excited for the Cursed Child to be published!

Coke or Pepsi?

I don't really have a preference, I'll drink either.

Pancakes or Waffles?

Neither? I hate both of them. Anything made from that weird batter stuff I just... bleurgh. Unless smothered in Nutella and covered in strawberries, I can't eat either of them. Sorry.

Shower or Bath?

I have both regularly, but I think I prefer showers. They're just quicker, and they allow me to dance around while belting out Disney songs.

Ketchup or Mustard?

Ketchup! Mustard is disgusting.

Movies or Reading?

I think this is pretty obvious, but reading. Obviously I love films, but there's nothing quite like reading words and imagining new worlds, characters and relationships, playing out scenes in your head and smiling at the love or hate or worry you feel for fictional people.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I just thought I'd do a short post to reintroduce myself, as I have changed since the last time I talked about me as a person. I also have a lot of work to do today - including the reshelving of all of my books (I had to stack them on my floor as I've changed my bookcase for a floor-to-ceiling one) and just general school work.

I'll post something better - and a bit more thought out - soon. Hopefully tomorrow!

Thank you for reading. Please comment below if you agree, or disagree, with any of my answers. x

how time flies

Why, hello there!

So, a results day (all A*s I'm happy to announce), 2 maths exams, a christmas, 2 english language exams and a valentine's day later - how have you all been?

I think my only excuse for not posting is time. Time is relative, but it always seems to run out for everyone. I wake up at 6:30 for school, and suddenly it's 9pm and all I've done is worked. I've left myself no time for the things I love and enjoy: reading has been neglected for quite a few months, blogging has been shoved under the metaphorical bed in the cluttered room that is my life and writing hasn't been a part of my life for several years.

Time is something that I find difficult to juggle. It's like I'm sat at a pottery wheel, and time is a lump of clay in front of me. But, as proven by my 7 year old self, I'm rather bad at pottery. I think I've made a decent bowl and then suddenly the wheel speeds up and the clay - or time, in this analogy - flies off the wheel and I'm out of clay/time.

This was taken mere moments before the clay flew off the wheel. Yup, it wasn't just an analogy - it actually happened.

So hobbies, passions and anything that isn't school related has been pushed aside as I focus on molding the little time I have left around school work so I don't crash and burn during summer exams.

But I'm stressed and I'm tired and I woke up at 3am this morning with a burning desire to write something. And so, after a whole day of clearing my bookshelf, re-shelving books onto my new (larger) bookshelf, working on my art exam, making flashcards and notes on Nazi Germany and running around making tea for family members, I sat down in my room with my laptop, took a breath, and started this post.

I'm not sure what made me wake up, what urged me to write, what made my heart pound frantically against my chest from the need to just write something, but I think an aspect of it was an email I received from my dad.

On February 15th this year, I went to a National History Museum about 20 minutes from where I live. It's not a normal museum - they take apart buildings from various parts of history, brick by brick, and then rebuild them on their grounds, putting the bricks in the exact order they were originally in, until the building is now on their grounds. They have a lake and streams, with a wonderful willow tree, and old buildings scattered everywhere.

I've been there many, many times, but I went with my dad for the specific purpose of taking photos for my aforementioned art exam project. While taking a photo, my dad took a photo of me, standing on a rock in the middle of a stream with my camera in hand. At the time, he mentioned remembering taking a similar photo around the same area.

The next day, he emailed me the photo he took, plus one from February 16th 2008. Of me in the exact same place.

These photos, 8 years and 1 day apart, show me how far I've come, how far I have to go, and how fast time flies. At 8 years old, I probably felt like I'd never be more stressed. That class test was probably stressing me out, or an argument among friends might have seemed like the biggest worry that I would ever have in my life.

And now, at 16 years old, these exams seem like the most important thing in my life, this year feels like the be-all and end-all, my GCSEs have priority over everything else in my life - whether that's hobbies, friends, family or just my own happiness.

My point is, time passes too quickly for me to sacrifice my own happiness for academic results. And I know, after I publish this post, shut down my laptop, tell my family I love them, go to sleep and start another day, I won't change anything. But it feels really nice to write this down. It feels nice to write again.

Sorry for the long post. But I hope you're glad I'm back - I know I am! I'm hoping to give myself more time to do the things I love, but if I can only manage one, I choose blogging.

I think I'll change what I'm posting. I'll post things like this, but I think I'll also start posting book and film reviews, so that this blog links in with my Instagram account @fiction.and.tea (it's focused on books, if you couldn't guess) I have a slideshow of my feed over on the left, so if you like the look of it, do give me a follow - there's a link under my 'Let's Socialise' section.

If you'd like to, comment your blog links below, or any thoughts you have. Thank you for reading x

ambitions, reality & a shove towards adulthood

Hello!

Now that exams are over and summer is looming, I'd like to think I'll be posting more often. I hope so, anyway.

After recently finishing my first year of GCSE exams and just completing a survey for my school about what sort of help I'll need next year to work out career options, I've started thinking about where the line is drawn when it comes to dreams. There is a time when ambition becomes delusion, it seems, if the majority of adults are to be believed.

There are many adults that fully support their child's dreams, and will help them find any path to get them where they want to be. They will show their child love and trust while they navigate dangerous waters trying to reach that tiny dot of land in the distance with a rotting sign stuck in the ground, DREAM scrawled across it. My parents are in this particular group. But quite a few shove the next generation towards reality too early.

Let children be children. Let them dream of becoming astronauts and sports stars and writers and ballerinas. Let them dream that they can do what they love and be who and what they want to be. Let them hold onto those dreams, because suddenly they'll be shoved towards adulthood.

They'll have to think about "reasonable" and "realistic" career options. They'll have to consider what options they want to take, what they want to do at university, if they want to go to university, what they'll do after university, if the career they want will provide for themselves and, eventually, a family. And because the idea that some careers aren't accessible to us is branded into our minds from an early age, many children give up on their hopes and ambitions to pursue something they don't want to do, but think is more likely to happen than the one thing they want to do more than anything.

I'm at an age where soon I'll be making A Level choices, and then I'll be thinking of universities and degrees. I'm pretty sure I know what I want to do where degrees are concerned. I've always been passionate about literature, so have known from an early age that English is something I want to study. The thing is, English isn't so great on its own, due to limited job opportunities (you see what I mean? Why shouldn't I do just English? Why is that not a good degree to have? Why can I not do what I love and want to do?) And I love the French language. So I'm pretty confident English and French is what I want to do.

But what do I want to do after?

I'm going to end this quickly, for fear of sounding like I believe in children giving up on their dreams and pursuing reality rather than passion. I think people should always look for any opportunity to do what they want to. Children are more intelligent than people think. They tend to know what they want from an early age. I know I did. All I want to do is write*.

Hold on to your passions. Don't try and fit into what's realistic. If you want to do something, work hard and you will get a chance to do it 9 times out of 10.

Chase after your dreams. Grasp at them with numb fingers and when your hands slip straight through like the goal is smoke, run faster, work harder, grip tighter.

Here we are, with our backs against the wall.

We've got big city dreams, but we don't move from the asphalt.

- Come Together, Echosmith**

- B x

*I'm going to start working on something over the summer, so be prepared for me to share that with you. I would love feedback, so if anyone is willing to read a chapter at a time and email me advice and amendments, please let me know in the comments.

**Very good song, definitely check it out!