Paige's Summer Photo Challenge: Category 1

Hi.
So I just realised I still hadn't submitted my entry for Category 1 of Paige's Summer photo challenge.
Category 1 was 'Something beginning with S'

Here's my entry - Sandals. :)

Just a short post - I felt really bad not posting at all for you guys, so here's a short one.

Sorry for the last post - bad day.
I love you all. I do. I really do. ♥

Sorry.

Hi guys.
Just a tiny post to say I won't be posting today - it's kind of a paradox because I am posting... But what I mean is I won't be doing a long, normal post, like a tag or a life update or a book haul.
I had another bad day. Yup, another one. And it was even worse. Because it was just one thing, but it was big. BIG.
It was a terrible, terrible day.
So, I'm really not in the mood to post.

I love you all.
I'm just going to go cry now.

Creative Thursday....Late again....

Hey guys. I am so sorry for always being late. But I have a valid reason this time! I came in yesterday after a bit of a rough day, did some homework, had dinner.....and fell asleep. That's right. I thought I fell asleep for 10 minutes, maybe 15. No. Oh no. I was informed afterwards that I fell asleep for 2 hours. 2 hours! So yeah.. That happened. But here it is anyway because I love you guys and hate to disappoint (not that you're waiting for me to post, looking forward to reading my writing - I know that isn't happening...)

*****

Little things, making chips in the dam that holds back all my feelings, all my emotions. The thing that holds back my tears, that stops me from breaking, is started to crack. Tiny things, things that shouldn't matter, are building up. At first, they're chipping away at the wall. But as they build and build and build, they begin to slam against the wall, large cracks spreading across the dam, joining together, forming jagged constellations.

And then it's breaking, crumbling, and I'm breaking and crumbling with it. The tears come, the feelings release, I let go, finally.
I need to be alone. Right. Now.
I'm panicking, I can feel the emotions surging and crashing over me.
I need to be alone.

I run. I run away and hide and cry. I can't run away from my thoughts, though.

'Nobody likes you, Bethan.'

'Everybody thinks you're weird, Bethan.'

'Your friends wish you'd leave them alone, Bethan.'

'You're not good enough, Bethan.'

The feelings are crashing over me like a wave and I'm drowning. 

I can't breathe. 

I can't breathe. 

I can't breathe.

And then I'm forced out of hiding, but I'm not ready yet. So I'm forced to re-build the wall, shove the wave back. Until the next time I shatter. It's a vicious cycle, and I can never win. Because the feelings are always there, but I can never express them. I hold them back. I break. I shove them away. I hold them back. I crumble. I shove them away. Over and over again.

How long can I do this?

I don't think I can stand this much longer.

*****

Sorry this is a bit depressing. As I said, rough day yesterday. It's how I'm feeling right now. This is the truth, though. This is me. Me and the vicious cycle.

Not that you care.

The Movie Tag

Hey, guys! Quick post today, as I'm a bit late! My friend Megan (she's just started her blog go check it out here or here or here or even here) tagged me in the Movie Tag. The questions are so hard, so I'm sorry for the questions where I don't give any real answers....

1. What is your favourite movie of all time?
Oh wow, it's hard already.....
I don't have just one..... I can't choose! All the book to film adaptations - The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Divergent, TFIOS and all the Harry Potters (not TMI or Percy Jackson... Just no) - as they are all amazing! All Disney films. Just all of them. I love all the Marvel films and the Batman films. I love The Others, which is a brilliant horror film! I also love The Way Way Back, which is such a cute, happy film. Ummm... I love Star Trek and Star Trek: Into Darkness. I love Captain Phillips as well. So yeah... Those are all of them. There are probably more that I'm forgetting....

2. What is your favourite scene from that movie?
Ummm... well.... there are several to choose from..... I love the scene in The Way Way Back when Duncan goes to the water park for the second time, because it's really funny! And in TFIOS when they're egging the car. I'll just do those two because I will be here for hours listing them all...

3. Who are your favourite actors and actresses?
These questions are so hard....um, okay.
Actors: Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Hanks, David Tennant and Steve Carell.
Actresses: Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Emma Thompson and Shailene Woodley (lot of Emmas...)

4. Who do you think is the best director?
Steven Spielberg (Jaws, Jurassic Park) and I love Christopher Nolan (Batman films) and J. J. Abrams (Star Trek) as well!

5. What is your favourite guilty pleasure film?
Bride Wars, or any rom-com, but Bride Wars especially!

6. What is your favourite tear jerker?
 Hmmm, I not too su- THE FAULT IN OUR STARS OF COURSE! That film.... It killed me. But I will watch it again an infinite (cries because our little infinity) amount of times!

7. What is a movie you love but everyone hates?
The Host because I love this book. I love this book. And when I heard it was becoming a film, I was super excited! And I watched it in the cinema, and it was great - it stuck to the book so much! But whenever I said how much I liked the Host, everybody would give me a disgusted look because they found it boring. And I can understand why, because the Host does work so much better as a book. You get to see more of the development of Melanie and Wanderer's friendship, and how they go from hating each other to becoming almost sisters. So I really liked it, because it did stick to the book. I mean, it wasn't great, because it does work far better as a book, but I still enjoyed it, but nobody else did....

8. Favourite movie duo?
Ooooo, so many! Sherlock (Robert Downey Jr, another favourite actor) and Watson (Jude Law), Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Marlin and Dory, Lilo and Stitch. SO MANY!

9. What is your favourite animated film?
ALL THE DISNEY. I can't choose just one... Sowwy.

10. Favourite actor/actress crush?
I don't really have one... Hmmm...Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston, I suppose.

11. If you could keep only one movie, what would it be?
Sowwy, can't choose. ;)

12. You are about to die but could watch one more movie. What would it be?
Too many.... Maybe.... maybe Lilo and Stitch? Or Finding Nemo. Because they were my childhood. Or, one of the Harry Potter's. Or TFIOS, to prepare me (too soon) or Catching Fire. Or The Way Way Back, because that film is amazing and it makes me laugh and I think I'd like a bit of laughter before my hypothetical death.

13. What is the first movie you remember watching in the cinema?
I think it was Monster House. You know, this one:

We went to see it as a family, and I got too scared, so my mum took me out and we crossed over to the screen showing Stormbreaker:

I was, like, six, don't judge me ;)

And that is it for the movie tag! I hope you enjoyed :)

I tag:

Celia from Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.

Madeline from In the Wind

Rachel from You and I

Paige from The Joys of Being Paige

And any of you reading that want to do this! I didn't want to tag too many people, so that's me addressing all the people I wanted to tag and more!

Thanks for reading, I love you all ♥